Dangerous Liaisons | Critical Role | Campaign 2, Episode 37


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(audience cheering) – Hello, New York! (audience cheering) Wow. I would ask how everyone’s doing, but I can already tell. (audience cheering) Who’s ready to get turnt up tonight? (audience cheering) (laughs) You know, I talked to Taliesin a couple weeks ago and I said, how in the world do we top what you did for me for Gen-Con? And he said, I have five words for you, Brian. The Goth of Wall Street. (audience laughing) (audience cheering) (laughs) Well, we have a great show planned for you guys. I am really interested to see how this is gonna go, given the last few episodes, I’m sure you are. I have a couple of bad cop announcements, it’s what I get paid to do. Up first, and you know, we’re all really waiting to see what Sam’s gonna do, am I right? (audience cheering) (sighs) Hide your kids, hide your wives. First of all, feel free to engage along with the show tonight.

Some of the ways you can engage along with the show is clapping, which you seem to do very well, wonderful. (audience applauding) You can definitely cheer. (audience cheering) This one’s gonna be hard, you can cry, or, (audience laughing) that sounds good. Sounds genuine. (audience laughing) The one thing that we do ask that you refrain from during the live shows is shouting out any rules, suggestions, things like that. Use Feather Fall! Shit like that’s not gonna fly. You have two spell slots left! Nobody cares what you have to say.

(audience laughing) And especially no jokes that you think are gonna either get a reaction from the cast or from the rest of the audience. And take it from someone who knows, sometimes you think you have a great joke. (audience laughing) And it’s a fucking terrible one. And at Gen-Con this year, some people decided to rebel against the rules and nothing made me happier than hearing someone yell out a joke and it bombing. I was up in the balcony leaning down going, welcome to my Tuesday night, every week. I guarantee you guys Matt and the cast are gonna put on a fantastic show for you tonight. (audience cheering) Yep. Despite the fact it will not contain any of your bad jokes. Up next, we will be broadcasting at an hour delay tonight. So, there is an extremely strict no spoiler policy in the house tonight. There’s really, after Sam comes out and sits down, there’s really no need for you guys to have your phones out tonight. So please do not spoil it for all of our Critters watching literally around the world.

Don’t get on Twitter, don’t get on Tumblr, don’t get into Twitch chat and say shit, don’t be a dick. (audience cheering) Please, please, please. And you know, ultimately there’s more of them than there are of us, so we gotta be careful, if you know what I’m saying. I don’t want people coming after us. Okay, if you’re at New York Comic-Con this weekend, please check out our schedule at CritRole.com. We’re gonna be busy. How many people are going to Comic-Con? (audience cheering) Wow. That’s gonna be awesome. Let’s see. Oh yeah, introduce the ca, okay. Without further ado.

(audience cheering) I would like to introduce the cast of Critical Role. (audience cheering) (dramatic music) Travis Willingham! (audience cheering) Marisha Ray! (audience cheering) Taliesin Jaffe! (audience cheering) Ashley Johnson! (audience cheering) Sam Riegel! (audience cheering) Liam O’Brien! (audience cheering) Motherfuckin’ Laura Bailey! (audience cheering) Ladies and gentlemen, on your feet for Mr. Matthew Mercer! (audience cheering) (muffled talking) (audience cheering) – Wow. (laughs) (audience cheering) (cast laughing) Well, if… – If that isn’t a rush, I don’t know what is. – Oh yeah. Mainline that shit. – Oh man. Hello everyone, and welcome, (audience cheering) (laughing) – He said two words, two words. – Welcome to tonight’s episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass… (audience cheering) (laughing) Where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around dressed as pirates and play Dungeons and Dragons. (audience cheering) (laughing) – Arr. – Now before we make our way into tonight’s episode, we got a few announcements to make, so be patient please. First and foremost, the second episode of All Work No Play debuts tomorrow.

(audience cheering) With our fantastic Sam and Liam, they are gonna be, they learned how to tap dance, kind of, loosely. (audience laughing) But that’ll be debuting tomorrow at seven p.m. Pacific. For those of us here on the east coast right now, that’s gonna be 10 p.m.. But that’ll be at Twitch.tv/CriticalRole, so check it out, it’s really funny, we watched the episode earlier, I hope you enjoy it. Between the Sheets, our new episode airs Monday at seven p.m. Pacific, 10 p.m. here. Our guest this week is the fantastic Liam O’Brien over there on the side table. (audience cheering) – We love you Liam! (audience cheering) – So check that out on Monday at Twitch.tv/CriticalRole. (laughing) Also, we do not have a Wyrmwood giveaway this week, because instead, all of our live attendees tonight at the show, when the show is over on your way out, you’ll be receiving a $25 Wyrmwood gift card.

– Whoa! (audience cheering) – Our amazing friends at Wyrmwood have been so kind to help facilitate this for all of you amazing Critters out there, so on your way out tonight, make sure you grab it, don’t forget it, you’ll regret it. (audience shouting and cheering) Whew. Man, my heart is going (imitates heart pounding). – Yeah. (laughing) – Never get used to this. And a quick little thing before we get started on the game, we mentioned it earlier this year, we have our fantastic continuation of the Vox Machina Origins comic book with Dark Horse that we’re in development on. (audience cheering) The next six issues are currently, we’re in the process of getting them going. There were, currently the planned date is the summer of next year. We’re happy to announce that our original artist, Olivia Sampson, a fellow Critter from the community who’s done an amazing job, is returning to be the artist for this.

(audience cheering) And we’re gonna reveal a couple little art pieces here to show you some of the new characters you’ll meet next summer, including our very own Pike and Percy, if you wanna go ahead and give a quick view of that up there. (audience cheering) (cast talking indistinctly) Some of these characters you may have seen in our pre-stream kind of recap video from years ago. But you also get to see, I think some of these cast hasn’t seen them until tonight now, so. We’ve got Abjurist Noja, we’ve got Wilhand Trickfoot up there, we got Pike when her hair was still dark, before her first death. – Stonejaw Strongjaw! – We have casual prison Percival. (audience laughing) And his true Whitestone pale-ass self. We got Drez Vina, we got a temple keeper who was working for Lady Kima, in Westruun.

We have Realmseer Eskil Ryndarien, who you saw a few times throughout the first campaign, as well as Nala the dryad, who you got to meet, (Sam purrs) the nymph that you got to meet later in the campaign. You get to see her first interaction with Grog. And a couple other fun characters that you’ll get to see throughout the story. So anyway, really excited about that. More information will become available as it does, but hopefully you guys get to enjoy it next year. (audience cheering) (Laura laughing) So. Without further ado, my friends. (audience cheering) We’ve got a few quick announcements again. (audience laughing) Like how I did that? – Yeah, yeah. – Pull those heart strings. But no, we have our fantastic sponsor for the evening.

– Yes. – Since the beginning of the campaign, our good friends at D&D Beyond. – Yeah. (audience cheering) D&D Beyond, guys. You know them, you love them, and to celebrate Critical Role live in New York, D&D Beyond has set up a discount code, just for a limited time. It’ll get you 25% off digital books on the D&D Beyond marketplace, but you gotta use this code, and I’m not making this up, it’s SamIsOurHero.

(audience laughing) (audience cheering) So go check it out. In fact, I’m so flattered that they named their code after me that I wrote a little Broadway song. (audience cheering) Can’t even hear the pitch. ♪ Da ♪ Okay, about their discount code SamIsOurHero, okay. I’m gonna sing it a cappella. (clears throat) Ha. ♪ Sam is our hero is the code to use ♪ (audience laughing) ♪ To buy your books at steeply discount rates ♪ ♪ When you go to D&D Beyond ♪ ♪ Just mention me ♪ (audience laughing and cheering) ♪ Sam is our hero and he’s handsome too ♪ (audience cheering) ♪ Look at that smile ♪ ♪ And such a boyish face, oh my god ♪ ♪ These lyrics are so crappy ♪ (audience laughing) ♪ Why did I agree ♪ (laughing) ♪ This crowd is loving my song ♪ ♪ They think it’s slightly too long ♪ ♪ I’ll win a Tony Award after all ♪ ♪ I’ll do whatever it takes ♪ ♪ This was an awful mistake ♪ ♪ I cannot wait for our curtain call ♪ (audience clapping in time) ♪ Sam is ruining Hamilton ♪ ♪ I hope the audience knows ♪ ♪ That Ashley told him no ♪ ♪ And we know that we should start the game now ♪ ♪ But it’s such a pretty song ♪ ♪ For D&D Beyond ♪ ♪ So we sang it anyway ♪ ♪ Bidet, bidet ♪ (laughing) (audience cheering) ♪ Sam is our hero, yeah ♪ ♪ Bidet, bidet ♪ ♪ Okay Matt, take it away ♪ (Travis cheering) (Matt laughing) (audience cheering) (Matt laughing) – Oh my god.

– Amazing. – Thank you, Sam and Ashley. – You guys are so good! – And thank you our friends at D&D Beyond. And thank you Hamilton for hopefully enduring that terrible butchering of a wonderful piece of music. (audience cheering) – I think when Lin Manuel wrote the song, he thought that it would be used in a D&D Beyond ad eventually. (audience laughing) – I think it was hard to avoid down the road, yeah. Well, all right guys. Let’s go ahead and bring us in to tonight’s episode of Critical Role. – Ooh! (audience cheering) When do I change into my sailor outfit? (funky retro music) (flames whooshing) (audience cheering) – And welcome back. So. Do we have the mic working now? – Yes. – Perfect, there we go. – Yeah. – Welcome back. So last we left off, the Mighty Nein, in following a thread of information that may tie into some aspect of Fjord’s curious history, after he chest-vored a sphere, (audience laughing) discovered that it was apparently, a group of individuals were hired to retrieve this and bring it to a Captain Avantika.

Upon following this thread, you found your way to the city of Nicodranas on the Menagerie Coast, outside the Dwendalian Empire. You met up with Yasha once more, you happened to take care of a man who was bothering Jester’s mother. (audience laughing) Very thoroughly. (audience laughing) And upon coming upon this character, Marius LePual, who you’ve been following, you– – What? – Got into an altercation at the docks (audience laughing) and accidentally took their boat.

(audience laughing) However, you managed to sneak your way back to Nicodranas the following day before it seemed there was much of an uproar searching for you. You stealth hired a crew, including bringing Orly the tortle bard on as your navigator. – Yay! (audience cheering) – And made your way out to sea towards this island called Urukaxl that you believed may have been the one, based on this piece of a map that you had recovered within the ship, The Mist. You changed the name of the ship to The Mistake. (audience laughing) You became Captain Tusktooth, was it? (audience laughing) – Yes. (audience cheering) – Yes, own it, yes. – I mean, yeah, yeah. – Yes. (laughing) – Following the map, you made your way through the reef, taking on a bit of water briefly, but thankfully through some ingenuity, some quick repairs, and the tenuous use of a magical tent, you kept it from sinking, and going towards the shoreline of Urukaxl, there appeared to be another ship, a larger ship, waiting in the nearest bay.

Upon attempting to possibly make your way around it to run it aground, the ship seemed to be cutting you off, and fired a warning cannon shot across the bow. You decided it was best to stop. And began to gather yourselves as two small rowboats were making their way towards the outside of The Mistake to whatever ends that may come to. As Caleb, are you still below deck holding onto your spell? – Yeah. – Good. (laughing) Because I believe that is where we left off. So, Mighty Nein, as you see these two small boats just slowly rowing their way towards you from the far side of the bay, what do you do? – Fjord. – Yeah. – Is this like one of those, like a parfait? (audience laughing) What’s it called? – Oh, with the yogurt? Those are really good.

– No no, not that one, when you talk with other people who know how to sail. – Parlay? – Parlay. – That one. – Yeah. Yeah, I think it will be a parlay, unfortunately. – Oh, parfaits are bad. – Why unfortunately? – Well I don’t know who these people are, what kinda ship they’ve come in on. I mean, this can go one of two ways, either very amicably or we all die. (audience laughing) – Do you think it’s the Captain Avantika? – Oh, I don’t know.

Do we have a spyglass onboard this ship? Lead, anything? (audience laughing) – Ooh, oh! Caleb gave me his Frumpkin. Frumpkin, (audience laughing) – I said a spyglass and you pulled out a bird. (audience laughing) – Frumpkin, go spy on the ship. – Oh. (audience laughing) – Thankfully the intelligent creature managed to swoop up before hitting the surface of the ocean there. But Frumpkin continues to head off towards the other ship. At this point in time, the rest of the rowboats travel, just about to reach the bottom of The Mistake. – Oh, they’re that close? – Well yeah, as you’re waiting here. If there’s anything else you wanna prepare in the meantime, I know you had said you changed your form to look like the previous captain.

– Yeah, so I’m gonna look like the half-orc captain. But was I close enough to hear him talk when he was on the dock? – No, you were far away. – Shit, fuck, balls, ass! (audience laughing) Okay, so I’m gonna make myself look like him. – Yeah. It was less that you were far away and more that you were in the water, and then made a thunder strike, and then were far away, and then he was paralyzed– – Yeah, I know, we don’t have to relive it. – Sorry. (audience laughing) – From down below inside the bubble of Leomund’s Tiny Hut, I pull out the wire and I cast Message up to Fjord and say, I have plugged the bottom of the ship so I think our troubles are behind us now.

(audience laughing) – Can I reply to that message? – Mhmm. (audience laughing) – We’re about to be boarded by fucking pirates. (audience laughing) (claps) (audience cheering) – Tell him they might have yogurt with them. (audience laughing) – So can I make myself look like the Captain Jawgrasp, but can I put like, a bloody bandage around my throat, as if I suffered a wound, and I’ll just talk like this. (audience laughing) – You can certainly try, yeah. – Okay. (audience laughing) – Fjord, do you want us to look like anything along with you, or should we just look like ourselves? – Well I mean, not that you’re already really super dangerous-looking, but maybe you could like, menace it up a little bit? – Okay, I look like me, only menacing. (audience laughing) – So what, your eyebrows just go like this? (laughing) – Like that, and like I put a lot of cool tattoos on my arms, and like, I make my fangs even longer. – Okay. I envision like the anime girl, where like all of a sudden the eyes are covered in shadow. – Yeah, yeah. – Yeah, perfect. – And my dress is like, tight now. (audience laughing) – All right.

(audience cheering) (audience whistling) Anybody else? (audience laughing) – I don’t even know how to interpret this kind of input, god. (laughs) First of all, I wanna see how many people are in these boats coming in, are they– – Make a Perception check. – I’m gonna roll a Perception check. (audience cheering) – First roll. – It’s terrible, but I’m pretty perceptive, so that’s, where is that, 12. (laughs) – They’re getting pretty close, so it’s not a terrible DC at this point in time.

There are two figures in one boat and a very large figure in the other, alone. – One very large figure. – You see one of the boats is kind of like, sinking in the water, or not really sinking, but is definitely pushing towards the boundaries of buoyancy. The other boat, however, seems to carry two figures, one looks to be a female, a little older, maybe in 50s or 60s, the other figure seems to be the one that’s rowing.

– What does her jacket look like? I mean, sorry. – I will say you cannot quite make out that detail from this distance. – Looks like a jacket. – Are you lowering any sort of, any of the rope ladders, or? – Yeah, no, hold on, I know the name. (audience laughing) (audience cheering) Yeah, I’m gonna tell Beau to go activate the windlass and lower the anchor.

– I go over and I smack Yasha’s ass. (audience laughing) Is that… Wait, that’s what you said, right? No no no, nope, nope– – The windlass! – The wind lass. – Yeah, and we’ll make sure that flag is nice and high that has the gray– – You got it. Yasha? (audience laughing) – Am I in your way, Beau? (audience laughing) – Oh, I don’t know how to sail, so. That’s all. – Okay. – At this point you hear the two dull (thuds) of the two other small rowboats hitting the bottom of the ship, and you hear the climbing up the side of the boat. Eventually emerging, the first thing you see is one giant meaty hand (thuds) come over the top of the side of the ship, and rising up, you see what looks to be a haggard female ogre. You see kind of stringy, greasy hair that’s kind of, you know, just peeling in front of the face, obscuring part of one eye, the other one looks to be a bit clouded.

You can see almost these like streaks of dark, what would’ve been possibly makeup, and beyond that just a leather tunic and just these thick, rippling, muscular arms. She eventually gets over the side of the ship and then puts her hand over and helps the other two up. One of them appears to be a gentleman, probably in his late 30s, mostly bald, a little bit of hair on the sides, kind of like a light blond, and he seems to be a little more demure compared to the two. Immediately his gait and presence seems to be more of at least a lower position on the hierarchy of the other ship. The last one that comes up is the woman that you saw.

And this woman, you see, she’s a tougher-looking middle-aged woman, thicker, heftier body, weathered face, you can see she’s wearing what looks almost like tattered robes, but beneath that there is a set of leather armor, there is a cutlass to one side, and she has this small amulet that’s kind of dangling from a heavy chain around the neck. – Oh, before they even come up, I turn into, I’m gonna look like the ship’s cook, I am not looking aggressive for this. I am putting on a chef’s outfit and getting small and human with awful red hair, so, yeah, I’m out. – All righty. (audience laughing) As they step up, the ogre kinda looks around at the rest of you and grins with this kind of broken, toothy glare. (snarls) The woman clears her throat and addresses you. (clears throat) You are requested to the bows of The Squall Eater immediately. (gasping) – Oh no! – It’s the ship, it’s the ship! That’s the ship that she owns! – Yeah. (coos like a pigeon) – Yeah, fuckin’ ship. – (audience laughing) – Oh shit. – It is recommended by the captain that you immediately make your way across with whatever boats you have available.

There’s a space for some with us, but should you decline or make any move outside of complete and utter compliance, you and your ship will sink. – Actually, (rasping), funny you mention sinking our boat. Sustained some damage, so if I could request of the captain, perhaps some grace while we go into shore. I’m afraid if we try to make it to her ship, we might be on the bottom of the ocean. – His throat was slit, you can probably see. So he has a hard time talking. – She turns to you with like an intense glare and goes, Jawgrasp, you seem to have sustained some sort of terrible wound. – Yes, my throat, it’s all fucked up. (audience laughing) – Make a Deception check with advantage. – Okay. – Oh, yes, yes. (audience cheering) – 17! (audience laughing) – If you come with whatever your most immediate crew is, and she kinda looks about and says, and it would appear that you’ve lost most of your previous crew? – Yeah, heavy casualties. Yeah. (audience laughing) The butcher’s bill was very steep, yep. – So you bring unproven individuals into our plans? (audience laughing) – It would seem that way.

(audience laughing) But these are battle-hardened men and women, every one of them. – Arr! – Ah ha! (audience laughing) – Yo ho. (laughing) Ho? – The woman kinda glares back and forth across the troupe of you and goes, well then some of you come onto the ship, the rest, take it into shore with Bouldergut. And points to the ogre, and the ogre goes, (grunts) to shore. (laughing) – Jesus. (audience laughing) Do you think you can accommodate seven of us on your two craft? – Do you not have a ship of yourself? – Do we? – I mean, we have this boat. – We have a rowboat. – You have a rowboat. – We have a rowboat. (audience laughing) We will accompany you to The Squall Eater. – Then come, please. And she immediately starts to climb down with the help of Bouldergut the ogre.

Down into one boat, the helper that she was with goes down with her, and there are now the two rowboats and the rowboat that you have at your disposal. It looks like the ogre is staying onboard to help whoever’s behind take The Mistake to shore. – I’ll turn to the rest of the crew and be like, just do whatever, she, he, she says. (audience laughing) (snarls) (audience laughing) – Big, big grin, the rest of the crew, who has known you for three days, just goes like, huh. They start getting the ropes ready, start pulling the anchor up. – Nott, make sure that Caleb comes with us, he’s awful grumpy below decks, he needs to be on the part of the boat with us. (audience laughing) – You want me to go get Caleb? – Yeah, go get fucking Caleb! – Okay, okay! (laughing) I think in addition to your throat getting slashed, you might’ve sustained a bump on the head or something.

I’ll go get Caleb, I run downstairs. – He’s a terrifying fighter, just make sure he’s on the boats! (laughs) – I’ll go get Caleb. – Okay, okay. As you’re sitting there concentrating with all this going on, the tension of what we were just told by Fjord a moment ago, you watch as Nott runs down to grab you. – Yeah, I’m inside a giant sphere of glass, basically. – Can you just keep it going, but not be here? Because we have to go, we have to go. – No, I cannot do that, I have to stay here in this bubble or the boat will sink, presumably.

(audience laughing) – Will it sink quickly or slowly? (audience laughing) – Well it lasted between 10 and 20 minutes while I got this going, but I am not a boat expert, that’s Fjord’s MO, so I can’t say for certain how long this will stay afloat, no. – Listen, we’ve just gotta make this decision on our own. So, he’s entrusted me to come get you, we have to go on this boat with these pirates, or else we’ll all be killed. So can you just temp it in, just kinda like, rough it in.

Just sorta close the wound as much as you can. – Nein, I cannot do that, but I could walk away from this, are we all leaving, there are actually pirates above? – There are real pirates, we’re gonna get on a boat with them and go to another, to see other pirates, but everything’s okay. (audience laughing) Everything’s gonna be fine, because Fjord has convinced them that he’s the guy that we killed before, except with a massive throat laceration. (audience laughing) (laughs) – Okay. (audience laughing) Okay, I am trying to process this as quickly as I can, I’m glad that I spent all the time making this, let’s go, fuck it. (laughing) I walk out of Leomund’s Tiny Hut, it goes (whooshes), gone. – Okay, you watch as this sphere immediately vanishes as you exit the exterior of it, and what brief repairs were placed against there seem to hold for the time being.

There is a slow leak. You do see, it is taking on water, but it is, at the moment, a trickle. – Is Gallan still done there fixing it up? Like… – Gallan, Gallan? – Gallan had, in the rest of this journey when you came out of the reef, Gallan had done his best to repair it, but there’s only so much you can patch something like that. It may hold for a while, who knows? Gallan literally as this is happening sees the leak and goes like, okay, you know, this is, it should work. (audience laughing) As long as we don’t stay out here for too long, I think we’ll be okay. – Yeah. And as we go up topside, I say quietly to Nott, you know, I did not allow for Gallan to go inside the bubble, so it’s all the same to him, let’s go. (laughing) – All right, let’s go. – Great, perfect. Have fun wherever you’re going. – Oh yeah, you’ll be fine down here. We’ll send word soon. – You said something about pirates? (clears throat) – No. High rats. (audience laughing) There were rats on the top of the mast, and we took care of them.

(laughing) – Make a Deception check. (laughing) – No good at these. – 16. – Hey! – He goes, oh, I mean I hate fuckin’ rats. – Yeah. – I’m glad you took care of ’em. That gets real bad as far as the food stores down here in the cargo hold. Thank you for that. (chuckles) – Aye aye. – All right, tootaloo! Sits down and gets himself an orange, unaware. – That poor bastard. (laughing) – All right. So you guys make your way back to the deck of the ship. – Yeah, and going up also, I grab hold of that leather thong that’s tied around my thigh and I cast Mage Armor on the way up.

– Okay, good to know. – Ooh. ♪ Leather thong ♪ (laughing) (audience cheering) – I hope that’s written in your inventory. – Caleb’s got secrets. – Yeah. (audience laughing) – Hey Caleb. I took Frumpkin and I threw him overboard to go spy on things. So if you do that thing where you get all like hazy, we might see shit. Don’t do it right now, wait till we’re on the… Yeah. – Okay. – Your bird’s spying on pirates. – Tally ho. – Okay. (laughing) – All right, so are you getting in the boats, – Okay. (laughing) – All right, so are you getting in the boats, or are some of you staying behind? What’s the plan? – Let’s all get in the boats. – I think better together than not. – All righty. So all of you make your way down into one of the three boats, and begin rowing your way across this gulf to the ship.

Now as you approach this ship, you can see it’s a massive, tri-mast ship, you can see where those doors were open, there are large, heavy cannons facing your direction. – Coming out of the gun port? – Yeah. (laughing) (audience cheering) I’m so proud of you. (audience laughing) – Travis, you look really hot. (laughing) (audience cheering) – Yeah. (laughs) – You’re so pretty. (laughing) – From the gun ports on the gun deck or the tween deck, as it’s sometimes called. (audience laughing) Anyway, so, as you make your way towards this massive ship, the large kind of rope, I want to say a ladder more than, a giant net-looking ladder, is thrown over the side that hits and breaks the surface for a bit so that it floats.

The boats come up to the side and the older woman is inside the boat, kinda gives a look to the rest of you and goes, after you. – Arr. – I’ll go first. – I think it’s women and children first that are supposed to go, actually. (audience laughing) – No, that’s not right at all. – Okay. – All right. – So you’ll go first, Fjord? – Sure. (laughing) Yep, I mean, yes. – As you guys are climbing, you see The Mistake is now being led over towards shore.

You make your way to the top of the deck, and as you come across, one by one, you see there waiting for you is probably about 10 figures, all in various scattered bits of seafaring attire, leathers and billowing cloths that seem to have seen many a journey out here on the open Lucidian Ocean. But immediately, your attention is grabbed by the central figure, a female elf, whose light brown skin with kind of red, wild hair that falls in clustered strings around her face and down the back.

You see she’s wearing a long, sleeveless gray coat with a high collar that kind of just bends at the edge of the shoulders, with a thick scarf around her neck. You see she has heavy elbow-length gloves and knee-high boots that look weathered with use and probably brutality. They are stained in places where that could only have been acquired by meeting the face of somebody else. As you step up, she has her arms kinda crossed in front of her, cocks her head to the side and looks to you specifically and goes, well hello, Captain. So, you have returned from your journey, (speaks foreign language)? – Oui. (audience laughing) (audience cheering) We suffered heavy damage and casualties, but we have returned, successful. – Successful? Well wondrous. Please, give me the item requested. (audience laughing) – Sorry, when he means successful, he means unsuccessful. – Who are you? (audience laughing) Captain, it would appear to me that you have brought The Mist all this way across our specific route through the reef with a crew that I have not met, please introduce me. – Oh, yes, we actually came under such heavy heat we had to rebrand the ship as The Mistake.

(audience laughing) – This surprises me not at all. – Yeah. (audience laughing) Yep. And we came across some new crew. May I introduce– – Tracy. (laughing) (audience cheering) Tracy the bowman. – Tracy Bowman. Next to Tracy you will see… – Oh, Phillip. (audience laughing) (audience cheering) My name is Phillip, bone-jour. (audience laughing) – Phillip is a talented bosun. May I also introduce the tall and powerful– – Hello, my name is Janet. (audience laughing) – What’d she say? – Janet. – Oh, Janet. – I do various things on the ship for him, and you know, so many things. Just all of the things that need to be done. (audience laughing) – She like nods along, with a very confused look on her face. – Argh. (audience laughing) – That’s good. She’s great. (laughing) – We’re all gonna die. – Cornelius, and I apologize for the way I’m dressed right now, I was in the middle of, well, it’s obvious I was making a stew, this really nice vegetable stew, and everything just went topsy-turvy so quick, I don’t even– – It was so good.

(laughing) – It’s very good stew. – It’s true. – He’s very talented. – Yeah. – He’s a talented cook, that one. What was your name again? – Cornelius. – Cornel, yeah, the food just blows your mind. – Sometimes they call me Stew ’cause I just– – Cornelius. (audience laughing) Very well, I look forward to seeing what you are capable of cooking up, Cornelius. – Oh, I’m very excited. – This one? – I’m a pirate! (audience laughing) (audience cheering) (laughing) – #ImAPirate. (audience laughing) – Pirate Sapphire. – Aww. – Sapphire. – She’s adorable. (audience laughing) – Argh, thanks. – And what about this little runt you brought on? – I’m Gilligan. (audience laughing) (audience cheering) I was just, I was told this was only going to be about three hours long. (laughing) To be honest with you, I just thought we were going on a pleasure cruise, and, but you know, I’ve met some people, and we’ve had a great time, and yeah.

Really nice boat you got here. – She turns back to you and begins to just kinda walk a circle around you, arms behind her back now. – I can see it. – Kinda folded. Jawgrasp, so you come to me with a new crew, and you tell me that you are successful but yet you are not. Describe to me what transpired to prevent you from acquiring this thing you have paid for. – Well you see, we now know the location of the artifact you seek. It’s as good as ours. – And how did this terrible, terrible thing happen to you? And she reaches up and kinda touches the side of your neck. – Oh god. – Her hand passes through– – It’s real sore. – The illusion, and she steps back and goes… (audience groaning) – Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. (audience laughing) – All part of the plan. (laughing) – I must commend you, it has been a very long time since someone has been so bold with such massive balls to come onto my ship (audience laughing) (audience cheering) and think that perhaps I got where I am today not by seeing through a few paltry illusions.

– Well, I must commend you on your perceptiveness. My balls are quite large. (laughing) (audience cheering) I will drop the mask. – You drop the the Disguise Self, okay. As you say that and the Disguise Self drops, you hear a series of sounds that you hadn’t really heard in succession before. (clicking) – Oh. (audience groaning) – As you see most of the crew now wielding some variation of the firearms you had seen both in Hupperdook or the traveling armies of the Empire eastward towards the boundaries of Xhorhas. (Laura singing) (audience laughing) Have them trained on the lot of you. The captain still now has her hands crossed in front of you and goes, well, I guess now that we are out in the open, who the fuck are you and how did you come in the possession of The Mist? – That is a wonderful story, one that I would love to share. You have the honor of being in the company of the Mighty Nein. (audience cheering) – But there are only seven of you.

(audience laughing) – It’s a long story, but I’m afraid we won’t be able to tell it or further converse unless we have an atmosphere of equal exchange here, and this hostile act is not a step in the right direction, Captain. – So, you are the captain of that ship, are you suggesting that we parlay? (audience laughing) – Yes. Say yes, Fjord, say yes. – Yes. (audience laughing) – Very well. Well, since you’ve been so forthright, Tracy, Phillip, Sapphire, Cornelius, Janet, (audience laughing) and Gilli-gone? (audience laughing) – Gilli-gone? – Gilli-gone.

(laughing) – Welcome. (audience laughing) Welcome aboard the Squall Eater. I am Captain Avantika. (audience cheering) Now, the fact that you are here, that you’ve made your way across the reef, that you managed to best our sister ship and the crew on board, which I assume have all been dispatched? – Indeed. – Just out of curiosity, if I look back over my shoulder, do I still see a boat? (audience laughing) – Oh, yeah.

(laughing) – You do, you do. – Woo. (audience laughing) (audience cheering) – It’s noticeably lower. But in maybe a short 10 minute period it’ll be finding its way onto the beach. – It’s also got a giant fucking ogre on it now. – Yeah. (audience laughing) – Big. – Can I look around real quick and see if I see Frumpkin? – Make a Perception check. – Sleeves are so big. (laughing) – Shit. I think that was an eight? – Get your hat out of the way. (laughing) – This is not a good dice for this lighting.

11. – 11. You look around real fast and you see a few birds are perched up in the sails, but you don’t know which one’s Frumpkin if Frumpkin’s up there. One of them does look kinda small, might be him. – I lost another fucking owl, god dammit. (laughing) – It’s a theme. – I hear her say that, and just for 10 or 15 seconds, jump into Frumpkin’s vision to see what I see. Right now you look up and you can see through Frumpkin’s vision, down on the deck, Frumpkin has a view from above and is present. The captain continues. Well, then my next question is, what are you planning here? Why have you gone to all this trouble to kill my crew, to bring the ship right back to me and then, be perfectly honest, prostrate yourself before us. – Well I imagine there must be a hefty reward for the item that you seek. We went through great troubles just to acquire it. – Troubles? – Perhaps.

– Do you know the purpose of this item? – Yep. (audience laughing) – She looks at you with an eye that has tore through 1000 lies, and gives a surprising smile of acknowledgement. Interesting. Well, you’ve proven that you are talented, at least, to have survived this far. But I’m a bigger fan of loyalty. Talent and loyalty, well, that is obviously my birthday. As it stands, the Mighty Nein, there are two paths you can walk. You, one, could live under the crew and proves yourselves as both skilled and as trustworthy as I hope you may be, if our goals are indeed aligned.

Perhaps even join us if the deeds please me. Or two, we weigh your corpses down with rocks and leave you here amongst the reef. – Those are the only only options there? (audience laughing) – I’m afraid so, little Sapphire. – Cool. (audience laughing) – So Captain, what was your actual name? – Fjord. – Captain Fjord. What’ll it be? It’s actually Captain Tusktooth, but. (audience laughing) (clears throat) – We’ll stick with Fjord. (audience laughing) – Cornelius, what say you in this highly delicate matter? – I don’t know, I’ve got some very specific burial needs, if we’re actually gonna go that way. (audience laughing) (audience cheering) – So I’m kinda unhappy with everything at the moment. I would really like to negotiate just some base points of this deal. – At the moment you say this, you feel this cold sensation in the back of your skull as one of the cocked rifles is now pressed up against the base of the head.

– Do I know what a rifle is? – You have a no idea. – You know what a co… (audience laughing) – Ah, that’s cold. (laughs) Oh, that’s really cold. Oh, ooh. – She goes, there is no negotiation. I’m sorry, but the choice you make now, that is– – That is not necessary. We would absolutely love to prove our loyalty in your service. – I would say this, though. Just as a curious tourist. (audience laughing) If you were to kill us you would not find the location of the item. – Well, based on the fact that you brought yourselves this far to tell me that you have it, I would assume that it’s somewhere either on your ship across the way that I currently am in possession of, or it’s on your person, so we could rummage through your bodies to find it afterwards.

(audience laughing) – How far would that rummaging entail? (audience laughing) Just curious how far you would look. – Have you ever seen The Fifth Element? (audience laughing) (audience cheering) (Travis laughs) It’s a really popular play, I don’t… (audience laughing) – I’m afraid I’m not as involved in the arts as some, perhaps. And she puts her hand up and kind of raises her fingers twice, and you feel the pressure of the barrel back off, and all the guns eventually, they stay trained on you, but they kinda pull back a bit and go lax a little bit.

So, do you agree? (murmuring) – We don’t have a choice, so yes, yes. – It’s a resounding yes, of course. – Yes. – Yeah. – Well then, Mighty Nein, welcome to the Squall Eater. (claps) All the guns kinda pull back a bit. Everyone stays present, and they’re keeping an eye on you, like as much as this agreement has happened, there’s still a sense of careful, you know, watchfulness from the crew, but Avantika seems to drop that kind of intensity and reaches forward a hand to shake yours. – So do we pick our quarters first? Or do we get assigned roles? Or is there a uniform that we need to wear? – Does the yogurt come before or after? (audience laughing) Really looking forward to that. – If you’re hungry, there are plenty of fruits that have dropped from the trees on the island. First order of business, some of my men are going to work to begin repairing my other ship. In the meantime, you relax, bring your things aboard.

I would like to question some of you about what you know. – By all means. (laughing) – He guys, let’s steal a boat, it’ll be so much fun. (audience laughing) – So as the captain turns to the older woman who accompanied you and goes, Vera. Let me introduce you to your charges for the evening. – Vera? (mic thuds) – Oh, Jesus! – Caleb died! – Which one of us was shot?! (audience laughing) Caduceus has been shot! (audience laughing) – Sorry guys. – Cornelius, shit! – We’ve never been on stage before. (audience laughing) It’s a learning curve, we’ll figure it out. (laughing) – So, the captain, I will return in just a little bit, but in the meantime, Vera can answer your questions.

Don’t do anything stupid. – Never. (audience laughing) – Good. And the captain steps down into her quarters, and Vera approaches, kinda looks you all over with a very intense glare. All right, so. Welcome. Are you hungry? – Always, yes, of course. – Yeah yeah. – Usually. – With me. And she turns around and begins to leave. You begin to see in the distance another boat, one of the boats that you guys had taken to the ship has made its way in the direction of The Mistake. But what would you like to do while you’re here on the ship? – I’ll make my way over to Janet, Yasha, (laughs) and just take her by the arm and say, you okay with this? – Well I don’t know if I trust her, or what she wants with the sphere.

Maybe you should ask her if she knows what it does? – If I ask her about it – Let her know that I don’t know anything. – I think she already– – Shit. (audience laughing) – Oh, you don’t think she’d believe me? – Well, what if one of us asked her what it does? Like you won’t tell us or something. – Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. – That’s a fine idea. Yeah, like I hoard the information? – Yeah. – I like it. – I like that you brought Yasha aside and then all of us just kind of– (audience laughing) – Jumped right in. – Sorry. – Sorry, I just, I couldn’t help but hear what you… – Very small ship. – Yeah. (laughing) Work your magic. – Okay. We’re gonna ask Avantika if she will tell us. – If she’ll tell us? – Yeah, because he won’t.

– But why would she tell us? – Because we’re very charming. – We are that, that’s true. (audience laughing) – How long are we gonna hold these disguise? – Well, I think I look really good, so as long as it lasts. – All right. – And then I might make my dress like this permanently, ’cause of how sexy I am. – No, that’s really good. (audience laughing) It’s a look. (audience cheering) – Are we off on our own a little bit from everyone training guns upon us? – They’re still watching you, you’re still on the deck, but you have some time to discuss or anything you wanna do. – Not making any movements to move the ship, it’s just staying? – At the moment, nothing. – What is our plan here? I’m trying to move my lips as little as possible. We just go with this for the time being? And then when the moment is right, we get away? Or are we just pirates now? (laughing) – I second that question.

– Yeah, I third that question. (audience laughing) So what I have worked out is that we have what she needs, we gotta try and find out as much as we can about why she wants it and what it does, where does she want it for herself or is she takin it somewhere. That’s about all I got. Well, I want to figure out if she’s just another match-maker or keeping it for herself if that is a thing.

– Yeah. Oh shit, is Marius LePual back on the other ship? – Yep. (audience laughing) – Oh, we forgot Marius! – That poor bastard. (audience laughing) Oh shit, our fuckin’ tortle! (audience laughing) – But we’re not leaving though, we’re not leaving anywhere. They’re gonna fix that ship. – They better not sink! – No, she said we could go back and get our things. It’s not like there, you know, there are things. – They need to crew that ship. – I like Orly, yeah, okay. – I would warrant a guess that we are stuck here for the time being, but I think at a certain point we are going to want to go, and if that happens, all of you, if you see a window in which we can get away, tell Nott or myself, and we will start a snow chain.

– A what? – A what? – We will tell our friends that it’s time to get out of here. – Oh, yes. – So just find you or me, and we spread it quickly, just so we don’t leave anyone behind like we almost fucked off without Caduceus, (audience laughing) from the docks. – Sorry again about that. – No, that’s okay, I mean, I wasn’t… (audience laughing) Wasn’t that worried. – Fair enough. I feel like we can make some ground without fighting if we have to, I feel like we can find out what we need and maybe slip away, I think that’s a great idea.

– Well, okay, but still, that doesn’t, why would we run if we don’t know what this thing is inside of you? And I’m assuming you want it out of you, right? – No, I kinda fuckin’ like it, actually. (audience laughing) – So we just need information and then we run? – Well, they’re also fixing the ship. At some point, there’s two ships. – So we’d steal both of them. (audience laughing) (audience cheering) – That’s pretty cool. – How about, in the meantime, keep an eye on the people around right? Watch what they’re doing. The things they’re doing on the mast. Rigging, right? Try and familiarize yourself with working a boat. – Shit, we’re supposed to learn from these people? – If you can. (groans) (audience laughing) – I think for the time being, we are in fact pirates, and that Fjord, you’re absolutely correct, learn as much as possible, and when the opportunity is right we leave, but for now, we have to swiff them, they are our new best buddies.

– Sure, yeah, our partners. – Captain Tusktooth. – Yes, Sapphire. – Could you maybe make some more of those Idiot’s Guides and spread them around through the rest of us? – More of the what? – Those guides that you made, the sailing guides. (audience laughing) – This is mine. (laughing) I earned this. (laughing) (audience cheering) And it’s not actually in the game. (laughing) – Within a short time of you guys having this conversation, Vera returns to the deck of the ship and goes, the captain would like you to please join her in the quarters below, please. – Oh. – All of us? – Sure. (laughing) – Okay. – It’ll be our pleasure. – So, you guys follow Vera down below to the dark, and it takes a second for your eyes to adjust going from the bright daylight to the darker quarters in the deck below, but you’re led to the captain’s quarters, this beautiful open room with almost like a mismatched patchwork of old carpets that have all been laid over each other from various designs from around Exandria.

You can see there’s kind of a desk that has a bunch of carve marks into it, there’s some papers laid out, and there you can see Avantika, sitting with her legs up on the desk, currently eating on some sort of a tropical fruit, just watching you all enter with a bit of a grin on her face. Please, fill the space. – Yeah, mind if we partake of your beautiful bread here? There food in this bitch? (audience laughing) – Make a Perception check. – 14. – Yes actually, on the right side of the room, you see there is a small pack of freshly collected tropical fruits, there’s some nuts, it looks like maybe a cheese that’s been designed for longer travel and will keep well.

By all means, please. (snarling) – That’s a candle, that’s a candle! Stop eating the candle. (audience laughing) – Paring knife. – No, put it back. (audience laughing) – It’s a candle bar. (laughing) – The doors close behind you, (clicks), but you do see before the doors close all the rest of the crew that were armed are essentially right nearby waiting to storm in at any given point in time. – Outside the door? – Right outside the door. – So is it essentially us and the captain? – It’s just you and the captain, from what you can tell. It’s just you guys. – Are there like portcullis windows? Was that a thing, I don’t know.

– No. – No, okay. – Port, port. – But are there windows? – Portals. – You see what looks to be a couple of windows and a doorway behind her that leads to kind of a balcony that looks out the back of the ship. – Does she have like papers and shit everywhere? – You see like a couple of papers. Actually, you see a familiar-looking map. – Oh. – Oh! (audience cheering) So what you guys were supposed to have last week, but the mail service decided not to have the map of the Menagerie Coast and another map that has a similar layout to what you found mostly burned in The Mist. – Ooh. – As well as a few other pieces of paper that appear to be kind of tucked away into portions of the desk. – While they’re having a conversation, I wanna do a scan and see if I can see like any floorboards that look like they popped up, maybe like marks on the floor from chests, anything that looks like it could be a secret compartment.

– Make an Investigation check. Actually, this would be a Perception check, it’s just a glance, but it’s gonna be a higher DC. Investigation you’d have to actually physically rummage through the room, so, make a Perception check. – Also glancing around for books. (audience laughing) – Both of you make a perception check. – Yep, that’s balls, big balls. Like Fjord-size balls. – You rolled balls? (audience laughs) – Uh, eight. – Gonna get you a D20, that instead of a one, it just has a pair of balls. – Just pair of balls, yeah, – Just right there, yeah. – Um, an eight? The room looks pretty solidly made, and the floorboard, while there are scuffs to it, there’s nothing that gives you the idea that there would be any hidden compartment or any sort of small cubby that would be out of view. What’d you get? – Big 11. – 11, you do see what looks to be two books that are laying on the shelf to your left amongst what looks to be a set of candles. There’s a small lantern.

You see what appear to be a set of navigation tools that are kind of barely poking out of a small wooden box. But yeah, there are two books there. You can’t quite see the binder, or if there is anything written on the sides. It’s pretty plain bound. Anyways, the door’s closed. The captain looks to you and goes, all right, so now that you’ve agreed to become our friend, I would like to see the first test of you proving your loyalty. You have this item I require, you have it here? Where is it? – It’s very dangerous. And before we tell you anything about it, we want to make sure that you know how to handle it. – (laughs) Little goblin girl, trust me. I have a decent idea of what I’m doing. – A decent idea? But we’ve seen it do things, scary things. We’ve seen– – Really terrible things. – We’ve seen someone melt while touching it. – Make a deception check. (audience laughing) – That’s a 12, oh, minus three. (laughing) A nine. – She goes, nine. (audience cheering) Oh my goodness, that sounds terrible.

Well, obviously we cannot have you touching it then. – If you don’t mind my asking– – Please, cut through the bullshit for me please, Captain Fjord. – Tusktooth. (audience laughing) – Will you tell me if I call you Tusktooth? – Oh, oh. – Yes. – Then Captain Tusktooth, please tell me. (audience cheering) – Don’t fall for it, don’t fall for it. She’s trying to use them titties, don’t fall for it. – If, I know, if I could, you seem so anxious. When was the last time the item was in your possession? I’m so excited to reunite you with it. I feel like if you tell us your story, we’ll share in that sense of triumph. – Respectfully, you’re not in a position, once again, to negotiate. You tell me and I’ll tell you, a little back and forth. But honestly, the one who has to prove their loyalty right now is not myself. – You’re correct. I have it on very good authority, an island that is surrounded by the Deeprow Reef is housing the item you seek.

– I wonder how it found its way there? Make a deception check. (lips smacking) – (whoo) 20. (audience cheering) – And you know precisely where it lies in the reef? – I do. – Show me, and she pushes forward the map, the same similar map to what you were given. – Yep. – You have it with you? – Uh, I do. Fuck, I picked the one reef that doesn’t have any goddamn islands. (audience laughing) She doesn’t know that, and I’m not saying this out loud. – Yep. (audience laughing) Secret island. – Yeah, yeah. Oh, uncharted islands. – Yeah, hey. – Let’s not do that. (audience laughing) – If you make your way to the Deeprow Reef, right off the shores of Vide Cay, you’ll find an unguarded old ruined fort. There the item is being protected and held. – So you stole my ship and came all this way to tell me that this item was not in your possession and is another place. Why were you coming to the island? I’m very confused. – Well, you see, Marquis LePual let us know that you were in dire need of it, and that there was heavy coin and glory in its delivery.

Now, as you can see, I lost my original crew and found these bunch of fuckwits. (audience laughing) But you see, I do owe them a little bit of coin for their trouble, and I sure would hate to leave them empty-handed. Plus I want to see what happens when you’re reunited with your official. (audience cheering) – Well, first off, Marius LePual is merely a bullshit messenger. But I’m glad at least he could bring you to us.

Is that all you know about the actual sphere? – Perhaps. (laughing) – She’s looking right into you, like lids half-closed, this dagger stare of trying to read any sort of give. – Captain, I hope you understand that this is not my first rodeo. And if I were to tell you everything that I know right now, why would you need me alive? – Very well, let’s trade a bit. The object I have not seen before, but I know of it and am hoping to bring it to this island for our purposes. I had recently hired an individual known as Jamedi Cosko, a very, very well-established adventurer, delver of dungeons. And Cosko is a, not Costco. (audience laughing) – That’s what I heard. – That’s what I heard too. – Doesn’t it sound like it? – Costco? – C-O-S-K-O, Cosko. – Great pizza place. – Yeah, yeah. You can get your crew in bulk. (audience laughing) – No, no, no, no, no, no, no, take it easy.

Take it easy. – Oh, god damn it. – To spend a few days across the jungles of the island to see what there is to be found there. You see, this object, this sphere, it needs to return. There is a temple in there that is from long ago, and has been since refitted by its current denizens. Something at the very bottom of that temple requires to be reunioned, reunited with this thing I seek. So– – What is it, at the bottom of the temple? – Do you, does the name Uk’otoa mean anything to you? – It sure as fuck doesn’t. (audience laughing) Could you say that again slower? (audience laughing) – Yeah, I’m sorry, you have a very thick accent. Sometimes it is– (laughing) I’m losing a couple of things here and there, no offense. You see her, she throws a quick dagger in the direction of Caleb that drags the cheese from his hand (imitates dagger vibrating) and sticks to the wall.

– Was I eating cheese? – Apparently. (laughing) – You were. (laughs) – My perception is so low. (laughing) – Stay away from the captain’s cheese! – I thought that was a metaphor. – That was a triple-aged Gouda. (laughing) – No, but really, what did you say? What was the name? – Uk’otoa. Spelled U-K apostrophe O-T-O-A. – Uk’otoa. – Uk’otoa, the great leviathan. – Uk’otoa. – Gate of the leviathan? – Wait, what? – The great leviathan. – Oh, the great leviathan. – Oh. – Ah. (audience laughing) – Do you know what that means? – The great leviathan, like a leviathan. – I have a good sense of it. – It’s a fucking leviathan. – Freaking warlock. – I don’t know what the fuck that means. – What do you mean? – It’s in your book, it’s in your book. – Her eyes are trained on Fjord as she says this. Well, you see, I am the chosen of Uk’otoa. (audience oohing) As she pulls the scarf down from under her neck, and you can see, kind of in the sternum, there is a tattoo of an eye.

(gasping) (audience cheering) – Wait, what tattoo was it? – A tattoo of the eye. – Wait, what about it, you’re Uk’otoa? – No, she is the chosen of– – You’re the chosen of Uk, sorry. – Yeah, yeah. – The sound. – You see, this great serpent once ruled the Lucidian Ocean. – Leviathan. – Serpent. – Your reactions are killing me, Travis. (audience laughing) Shortly after the Calamity washed this land clean and Zehir, the Cloaked Serpent god, was banished long away, one of his greatest creations was left to rule this ocean, Uk’otoa. – Uk’otoa. – The indigenous people of this series of islands, The Swavain Islands, called the Ki’Nau, were granted the blessing of Uk’otoa. – Uk’otoa. – And nothing– (laughing) Nothing and no one could stand before them. However, the surviving worshipers of this once-powerful god, now banished, grew jealous, (audience laughing) and sealed him beneath the rocky depths of the ocean, defaced the temples built in their name.

I will bring him back, and with their blessing, these seas will be mine. So let me tell you, you’ve put in with the proper lot. – So say we all, uh. (audience laughing) Yeah. – She puts the scarf back up to hide the tattoo. So I’ve shown you mine. (audience laughing) You show me yours. (audience cheering) – Caleb is in the background, just pulling cheese from the wall. (laughing) (audience cheering) – Uh– – This gonna be good. – Are we, do we, I mean, are we all supposed to get naked now? I don’t… – She doesn’t flinch. – I… (audience cheering) – Do you– – Actually, if we’re gonna be getting ready for some trouble, I better change into my trouble gear if we’re going there.

And I’m gonna drop Disguise Self. – Which puts your head pretty much (imitates head thumping) right into the top. (laughing) – I try not to frighten people, but I figure if we’re getting messy. – I love this color palette. – Thank you so much. (audience cheering) I really like this whole room. I think you’ve done a really good job with it. This is great. – So back to Fjord. – Just a moment. – You have some secret tattoos that we haven’t seen yet? – No! (audience laughing) – Fjord, maybe we should just come clean and form an actual partnership with this person. If we keep lying to her, we’re gonna lose. – Nott, Nott, I’m pretty sure you’re not playing this out all the way. That shit’s in my body, okay? (audience laughing) – Um, you guys, you realize she’s standing right here. (audience laughing) – We’re whispering. – We’re stage whispering. – I turn around and I just start dancing to distract her from what we’re doing. – Um, uh, Avantika. – Yes? (audience laughing) Make a performance check. – Perform. (laughing) – Oh wait, oh my god, that’s good. Uh, 20. (laughs) (audience cheering) – You can tell the captain’s, yes, but is also kind of like, peeking out of the corner of her eye at this strange display.

– Hold on, let’s take advantage of this. Is there anything else we need to talk about? – Well, clarifying question, did Avantika just watch Fjord yell at Nott, “That shit is in my body.” – Um, she’s– – No, no, no. – I want to know. – You don’t know if she’s heard it. – Okay. – But you guys are in a very enclosed space and she sees you all deliberating about something that you’re all deciding whether or not to reveal. – Right, right. – So like, she’s not just like, oh, everything’s fine. She knows something’s up and she’s just waiting for someone to come out with it. – Avantika. – Yes? – How can you be certain that you’re the only chosen one of Uka, of Uk’otoa? – Bless you. – Uk’otoa. – Uk’otoa. – Uk’otoa. (audience laughing) (imitating maracas shaking) – They all do that together. – Slow but there. – Well, I’m not certain, but I’m the one who has the dreams.

– The dreams? (gasping) – Do you see why we did that? – Okay, she said dreams. She said dreams, she has dreams. – You have wet dreams, you have wet dreams too. – You do, you do, you have dreams. – I have dreams. – You have dreams. – I knew it! – This big smile curls across her face, and you watch her go a little flushed. She goes, what kind of dreams? – Do you often wake up vomiting salt water? Do you have wet dreams? (audience laughing) – You, you– – You don’t have to be embarrassed. – You beat me to that by like 0.2346 seconds. – She beat you to the wet dream? – She looks, she looks a little confused, but says, no, unlike some, I can hold my brine. (audience oohing) – She’s not looking at me, right? I’m a (vocalizing). (audience laughing) You have dreams? I’ve had dreams of being deep underwater.

There’s a giant eye that sees me. I hear a voice speaking to me, but I can’t reply. Does that ring any bells? – Her smile just grows wider. So Uk’otoa has spoken to you as well. (audience cheering) – What are we supposed to be doing? – Uk’otoa. (audience laughing) – So perhaps it was not just some strange coincidence you found your way here then, Fjord? – Perhaps not, perhaps this is destiny. – My god, you guys. – I must tell you, I am very eager to see what this leads to. I haven’t been entirely honest. (laughing) The item you seek does not lie on Vial Coa, what the fuck was it called Vide Cay. It does not reside there. I have it protected in an alternate dimension. And I’ll use Minor Image to show the sphere, and make it disappear. – Oh! – All right. (gasping) – If we can work together, I would like to accompany you to this temple you speak of.

I would like to see it find its resting place. – Also we’re not just some dumb-ass crew we hired. We totally murdered all of your guys, so. (laughing) (audience cheering) – And you know what the craziest part is? We don’t really know why we did it. (laughing) (audience cheering) We’re loco. – Avantika is, it’s almost a palpable passion behind her, like the excitement and adrenaline is pumping through her body, and you can just see her now leaning forward in her seat. Her feet are off the desk and her hands are kind of grasping the sides of it in her gloves. And she’s just looking across, most of you, but focused on Fjord, and says, well, I’m very curious to see where this leads as well. Then perhaps let us stay the night onboard. Let’s wait for Jamedi. (audience cheering) Wait for Jamedi to return, if he’s plotted out the course to this temple. – If who’s plotted out the course to the temple, who? – Jamedi Cosko. – Cosko. – Cosko. – Cosko’s a dubious sort. – And if this is indeed the kismet you speak of, what better way to prove your loyalty to me and my ship than to be the ones to go into this temple with me? – Yeah, absolutely, this– – Yes.

– Is an advantageous moment for all of us. And if we can help your and your hentai cult achieve your goal– (audience laughing) We will all come out as winners. This is true if my name is Philip. – It is. (audience laughing) – She looks around to the rest of you, claps her hands twice. The door opens behind and Vera enters. Captain, you summoned. She looks about to the rest of you in the chamber and turns to her and goes, please clear out some quarters for our guests. Tell um, tell Zoen and Waldark to sleep on the deck tonight.

Give them comfortable rooms and bedding. And please, keep a close eye for Jamedi. Any day now, I can feel it. We are very, very close. – Jamedi, is that Cosko? – For Jumanji? – Cosko. – Is Jumanji– – That’s Cosko, yes. (audience laughing) – Yes, yes, Jumanji Costco, clear as day. – Jumanji Costco. (laughing) – Oh no, no, no! – He makes a note every time. (laughing) – The tradition continues. (audience cheering) – Somewhere the spirit of Purvan sits next to Vax’ildan, looking down and going, come on! (laughing) So Vera nods and looks a bit curious. Well then, follow me. I’ll lead you to your chambers as the captain wishes. She looks kind of confused and taken aback by this sudden burst of generosity. What are you guys doing, do you follow? – Yeah. – Yeah. – Yep. – Absolutely. – And I shove a bunch of the fruit in my pockets on the way out. (audience laughing) – Okay, no one stops you. – I shove a bunch of fruit in my pockets on the way out, is that better? – There you go, there you go. – Okay.

– As we turn to leave the cabin, the captain’s quarters, a quick look of anything that looks like info about where this temple is, in case she decides to fucking slit our throats in the middle of the night. – Ooh. – Make a perception check. – Come on, come on. – Ugh, a 10. – A 10. You don’t see any indication of the temple or anything, but you see now above the door as you’re exiting, there is a small shelf.

And you can see what looks to be a tiny little black iron shrine that looks to be almost like an Ouroboros serpent that’s eating its own tail. But there’s, about every inch or so there’s an eye across the length of its body. And in the center of it you see a single metal sphere with a similar cloven line down the center of it.

– Awesome. (laughing) – Also, if we’re leaving the chamber and there were all those people outside with the Percy sticks– (audience laughing) – Below deck, a lot of them have put the rifles away and they just kind of have their hands on the side of their various cutlasses and longswords and shortswords. – Yeah, if there’s any out, maybe there’s not, but the thing I’m going to do leaving is to try to subtly get a good look at size, what I think they are capable of. – Roll an intelligence check. – Yeah. – You can definitely instantly with your feat, the DM’s bane feat– (audience laughing) – Ah, 12.

– 12, okay, you get a quick glance at it. From a superficial level you have a good idea of how it looks. You’re not entirely certain of the components required. – Can I see at least, is it this or this? – It depends, is it a fully-cocked rifle, or– (audience cheering) – You see about three of them are longer barrels. They’re like a two-handed piece. And there are a handful that are just a simple– (audience laughing) Laura Bailey, ladies and gentlemen. – Everybody drink, yeah Laura! – Sorry, sorry, sorry. – And a few of them that have what look to be some sort of a flintlock.

One of them has what looks to be a multi-barrel spinning piece. – Ooh. – Oh, okay. – Familiar to some. (gasping) – Strange to others. (laughing) – But is there anything else you guys wish to do as you’re being led to the chambers? – Is he saying that like we’re supposed to be doing something? – No, just as you walk and you are led, you watch as Vera tells two of the various deckhands to grab their shit and leave for the night. They confusedly do so and look a bit put out by it, but you guys are led to these two chambers that are more comfortable than at least the area you slept in The Mistake. – As we’re moving through, can we clock sort of what’s being kept on the ship? Are there cells, are there barrels, are there packages of things? – That would be down in the cargo hold, which you’ve not been led to. – Okay.

– You guys are currently just on the main upper decks now. But you’re led to your chambers. There are still guards posted on the outside. There isn’t a complete trust in this regard. But it’s not having weapons trained on you the entirety of your stay now, at least. – Did we previously see what the flag they were flying was and what it looked like? I can’t remember.

– You didn’t pay a very close attention to it, but you can go and check if you’d like. – Can we do that now? – Sure. You head up to it and the flag actually is an exact, or is close to a replica of the tattoo that she has on her sternum. – Wow. – Whoa. (impressed whistling) – That fucking eye. – Are the guards posted at our door? Do they have guns or just like knives and stuff? – Both. – Both. – They have blades sheathed for close combat. You know, when you’re below decks, generally you want shorter blades and things that are good for close quarters. The firearms are more for if they have to do something at a distance. – Okay.

– So most everyone here is packing then. – You’ve seen at least seven or eight of the crew with some form of firearm. – Okay. – And their make, from a quick glance, you saw a lot of their make and construction varies. So they seem to have been plucked from different sources. – Captain Tusktooth? – Yes? – Doesn’t your weapon have an eyeball on it? – It does. – That’s cool.

(audience laughing) – But I don’t want her to know that. – Oh, but, oh, ’cause she would also swallow, so she would know that her weapon would have it. (audience laughing) – I can’t know that for sure, but I know that as soon as she has it, there’s very little reason to keep us around. – Right. – Caduceus? – Yeah? – Would you mind telling me, did you feel anything coming from the captain? – Like what, I don’t really– – Like– – Well, I don’t know. You just seem to make these strange comments about how people feel and stuff. I’d have thought maybe you were like a mind-reader.

– I was really kind of just listening for that word ’cause I wanted to play the speak along game. I wasn’t really paying that much attention, I’m so sorry. I got a little distracted in there. That was really fun though. – Yeah, it was a fun game. – Yeah, it was. – Let’s pay attention next time, shall we? (laughing) Cool. – Fjord, if I may. I’m sorry, Captain Tusktooth, if I may, when we find this Uk’otoa– – Uk’otoa. – Uk’otoa.

(audience laughing) – And you have this thing inside of you, is your goal to get rid of the thing inside of you, to commune with it, to bow down and serve this monster? – Or are you going to become like a god or something? – I feel like we are learning a lot about you right now, and not from you. (audience laughing) Are we alone? (laughing) – I thought we were– – It’s funny you ask that question. – I thought we were in our chamber. – No, you’re in your chamber. You’re alone– – But– – But you don’t know how thick these walls are. – Can I look– – You know there are people stationed right outside of your door. – Can I look around and see if there’s any peepholes in the walls or anything? – Make an investigation check. – Oh, good call. – Yeah. – Yeah, yeah. Um, 12. – You take a moment to glance around the space and kind of feel along the walls. You don’t notice anything that catches your attention.

– Okay. – I pull out the wire in view of everyone, and cover my hands and say to Fjord, is there anything that you maybe want to tell us about that you haven’t already? – I mean– – Wait! Before you talk out loud, can’t you use your magic to make some sound or something to muffle what’s happening in here? – Um, no. – Okay, good, go on. – Wait, wait, wait, wait. Caleb, what if you use your anti-sink bubble? – Well, I would have to ask the DM. – Yes. – I don’t know about this. That bubble, I don’t know if it is soundproof at all, because I just got that spell. – I, let me check. I do not believe it is. – I don’t think it is. – I mean– – But I will check real fast while I’m here. – I can use Thaumaturgy to make it sound like there’s ominous whispers all around. – Yeah, that would, that’s good. – Actually, if we both do that, maybe it’s like gonna be white noise.

– Yeah, okay. – Yeah, it’ll be like a white noise machine. – Can we create white noise? – Yeah, yeah, white noise. – Yeah. – Yeah, no, it– – Yasha can fall asleep. – It prevents creatures from entering and exiting, outside of the ones that you choose, but it does not shift, alter, or stop any sound passage. – Yeah, I would– – So that means everyone heard Beau and Keg bone, is what you’re saying. (audience laughing) (audience cheering) – Well, if– – Well, you were upstairs, so only if you’re screamers. (audience laughing) – Well, some of us actually saw it. – It’s a good night. – No shame. – No shame. – Wait, so wait. – No regrets. – Can Caduceus and I use our thaumaturgy to make ominous whispers all around us so that it’s like white noise so that we can whisper inside? – Sure.

– Yeah, that’s what we do. (ominous whispering) Constantly. We’ll trade off so it’s like (whispering). – Krakatoa (whispering). – Krakatoa (whispering). (audience laughing) – All my whispers are just saying that in different pitches. – Right, right, okay. – It’s gonna be, yeah. – I’ll allow it. – All of mine are just saying like, playing the penis game. (audience laughing) – I’ll tell you what I know, and that’s that I see visions, sometimes, it’s been a long time since. There’s a giant eye, and I hear a voice speaking to me. I don’t know where it comes from, and I don’t know where I am, if it’s the past or my future. But, I feel like it happened that night when the ship exploded, and before I found myself on the shore with the sword.

I feel like those things are all connected. And when I saw the sphere, it reminded me of that eye. – So you have, I’m speaking very quietly amongst Jester’s whispers. – I am, too. – Penis, penis, penis. – You have been having– – Penis! – Krakotoa, Krakotoa, Krakotoa. – This is an ongoing dream that you have been having? – I wouldn’t say ongoing. It’s happened like three or four times. – Yeah, sure. – Sure, three or four times. (audience laughing) Three. – Three or four times, you have had a dream with a thing that has a giant eye like the one on your sword, and like the inner motifs of this woman’s office? – Yeah. – You know, there were several eyes in that Ouroboros. – Right. – I wonder if that’s how many other chosen ones there are. – Oh my God, what if there’s that many other eyeballs? – Yeah there might be a million other eyeballs. – And you can like, swallow them all, and then you become like ultra powerful.

(audience laughing) – Or I summon the dragon. (audience laughing) (audience cheering) – I think you get a wish! – I have been having them, but I wouldn’t think to comment on them, because they’re just fucking dreams. – Yeah, okay, were you able to summon a scary transparent tentacles before that explosion on the boat? And those dreams happened? – No. – Yeah that shit ain’t dreams, man. – Were you vomiting seawater before you had those dreams? Or making a sword come out of the palm of your hand before that explosion? – Not to my knowledge. (audience laughing) – So, and no judgements here, (all laughing) but is it safe to say that you have been under-sharing with us? (audience laughing) – I don’t know, he’s kinda told us all that before.

– Every single day? – Yeah, kinda, I think so. – Did I? (audience laughing) No, you’re right, I have under-shared. And I’m sorry, I just didn’t think it was relevant. – Seems pretty relevant. (audience laughing) – Well yeah, fucking now. (audience laughing) – Well look, I mean, Jester gets visited by the Traveler. – I do. – Yasha, has thunder dreams and visions. – I do. – And she has dreams and visions, maybe you guys are just special or whatever the fuck they tell people. (audience laughing) – Yeah, Yasha, I mean, do you vomit after you talk to the thunder? – I only vomit if something upsets my stomach.

– Yeah. (all laughing) – So I don’t wake up from dreams or visions vomiting anything. – Me, neither, it happened one time, so. – Okay. – Just the once. – Right. – Yeah, look I feel like if we can get on land, at least, and some sort of landing party, we can, we’ll have a better shot. Nott, you’re terrified of the water. I mean, we’re on unfriendly ground. I don’t mind trying to slip away or forcing our way out of this situation, but I sure would like a resolution and at least a better place to stage some sort of action than on an enemy boat. – What the? – Ship. Ship, it’s a ship. (audience laughing) – How many, how many, how many? – It’s three masts. – Three masts. – Mizzenmast, mainmast, foremast, I got it, ha ha ha ha ha. (all laughing) (audience cheering) – But our goal right now is not to run away, right? – Yes, this was my next question.

I personally was thinking about getting the hell out of here, but. – We’re here for Fjord. – We are here for you, and you want to understand what is happening to you. – No, I just want to know where the temple is. I don’t care if these people die. (audience laughing) – No, no, but, but the– – That’s not what we – Thing inside of you– – are talking about. – No, yeah, no that’s what I meant. I know you wanna leave, I do as well, but we– – Well – We need to play this game a little longer, yeah? – Yeah I think we are, you know, we’re friends. I think we’re trying to figure out– – Caleb! – Where we– – We’re friends, don’t say it like that.

Don’t say we’re friends, like a question. It’s downward, we’re friends. (audience laughing) – We are friends. – No. – That’s back up. (all laughing) – That was a question, it’s a down. – But, but, but, addendum. Now we are friends with a giant squid being with a giant eye, so I’m just trying to– – Where’d the squid come from? – Ouroboros, giant eyes– – Leviathan. – Lots of tentacles. – Leviathan. – I heard serpent and leviathan. – Okay. – Is leviathan a giant squid? – Well it’s like, no it’s like a serpent. – I mean we’ve all read stories of sea creatures. I’m just vibing here, go with me. The point is– – The point is we’re here to support you in finding out what’s going on inside. – In your heart. – And what’s going on in your past, and if that means we have to go fight some shit, we’re with you, and if it means you say let’s run, we’ll run, but we got your back, big guy. – Yeah. – That is the point. (audience cheering) – I mean, look. – As long as I don’t have to swim.

(all laughing) – That’s fair. – Avantika seems like she’s had this gift and these visions for quite some time. Maybe you could learn something about yourself. Talk to her a little bit. – (gasping) Does that mean she swallowed one, too? – I mean like really though does she have one inside of her? – She might. – (gasping) If there’s multiple ones. What if she has more than one, and she’s more powerful than you? (gasping) (audience laughing) – How, how do we get to look at her belly? Should we go swimming, hope she wears a bikini? (audience laughing) And just check for scars? – What if I, what if I’m walking along and I fall, and I accidentally go like (gestures) like on her stomach? – That’s not bad. – I don’t know if you can be– – Lift your armor up, Fjord.

I’ve been trying to find out for a long time if I can actually feel a lump. – Lift it up, lift it up. (audience cheering) – This is important, I need to know. – Yeah I’m not comfortable doing that. – I think we are past the point of secrets here. – Yeah. – And we need to know what is what. – Exactly, I need to feel your abs. (audience cheering) – Make a medicine check. (all laughing) – Well, well, well, well, well. – Not straight charisma? (audience laughing) – Oh, oh, I’m proficient! – Oh! – 18.

(audience cheering) – So, having a fair understanding of the half orc body, while Fjord is generally a little more lithe and trimmer than most more burly half orcs, still a decent build, but you don’t feel any particular strange lumps. – Maybe lower, go lower. (audience laughing) (audience cheering) You know, the V, the V. – If you could be succinct, I’m a little fucking ticklish, okay? (all laughing) – You don’t feel anything, unfortunately. – I don’t feel any lumps. (Travis singing) – The hunt for Fjord’s third ball continues. (all laughing) – It’s technically fourth ball at this point, I think, isn’t it actually? Sorry, that’s the face I wanted. (all laughing) – So are we okay to play this out, see how it goes, at least get on land and see if we can find this temple this crazy bitch talks about? – Hell yeah, man.

– Yeah, let’s do it. – Yeah, let’s do it. – Yasha, you look trepidatious. – I just feel like we should ask her more questions. – Of her? – Yeah, like maybe she knows if there are more spheres and how to find them, if they’re in the temple. – Yeah, I think that’s– – Well she’s coming with us, right? We can ask her on the way. – Yeah. – Maybe Yasha, you can intimidate her with your girth and darkness. – No, no, that’s– – And piercing eyes. – This is not an intimidatable person. I mean you can just look– – I disagree. – I think, I think, I think, from what little I gleaned, I imagine vanity is the way to play this one. – Vanity, you say? – Yeah. I mean, some people just wanna talk. And I think she just wants somebody to talk to. That’s the vibe I get. (audience cheering) – Yeah we did say we were gonna get better at that.

– Or, we can murder everyone on the boat. (all laughing) Ah! – We’re trying to do less of that. – Okay. – Yeah, this is too simplistic, it could be both. – Okay. – Yeah. – For now, we are allies. – Alright. – For now, we work together to figure out his problem. – Mm-hmm. – And if we have to eventually (throat croaking). – Me? – No, not you! – Oh. (audience laughing) – I mean yes, if you turn evil and bond with Rikatoa.

– Rikatoa. – Chick ah, chick ah. (audience laughing) – Is it night time now, are we going to sleep? – Uh, it’s like late afternoon. It hasn’t quite dusk yet, but whenever you want to. Essentially, you’re ready and prepared for an evening’s rest, we’ll go do that. – Okay. – Do it. – Alright. So you go ahead and find yourselves settling in best you can for the evening’s rest. As– – I’m gonna sneak down into the cargo hold. (audience laughing) – Make a stealth check.

– With my cloak on, so that’s a advantage-y thing? – Yeah. – With your cloak, yes. – Okay, stealth, 26. (audience cheering) – I’m not even gonna roll. – Is that a stealth on all of us, too? You snuck out on us? – I probably told you that I’d be right back. I had to go to the little girls’ room. – Alright, well for one thing, as soon as you, ’cause there’s only one exit to the chamber. – Huh? – There’s only one exit to the chamber. And the door that leads out, as soon as you kind of (creaking) you see the guard is posted right there. You feel pretty quiet, and you’re pretty, you feel that you’re in the groove where you can get through pretty quickly without being seen, but you have to get past that one guard you can see stationed right outside of the door.

– Okay, I’ll use a spell, then. And, I’ll do, I’ll do, I’ll take a little bit of, I think it’s a cloth of, uh, fleece, and, as Caleb taught me, and I’ll create a silent image down the hall. Can I just peek out the door a little bit? – I’ll say because of your stealth check, yes. You very carefully nudge the door open just enough to get like an inch of viewing space between. That both reveals the guard and the hallway further down. – And I’ll do, I’ll just make it look like Costco is just like walking by the hall. And then like walks back. – Okay. – Back again. – Is it a guy in like a Costco T-shirt? – Yeah, yeah. – Amazing. (all laughing) – You’ll murder us all. – Keeping a tally. – Uh huh. – Well, we’re all, we’re in New York, I don’t know if they have Costco. Sam’s Club. (all laughing) – That’s good. (audience clapping) – Alright, so you create the image of him walking back and forth.

The guard kind of notices. (guard splutters) And goes ahead and pats another guard that you don’t see on the upper side of the door. Guard’s like, is Costco back? Go get the captain. And the other guy goes and walks away, and the other guy kind of stands there nervously looking back and forth. Jamedi? – I’ll have Costco moonwalk across– (all laughing) the hall. – Jamedi, Jamedi? And he goes and starts walking in that direction. – Okay, I’ll make my run away, my getaway. (trilling) – Okay, you get by, you get outside of the door. Are you running to the right or the left? – Uh, left. – Alright, you run to the left. – Ah, Jesus. – You go running down the hallway, and you’re now not that far behind the other guard, who was rushing off and heading up a small set of stairs that leads up to the captain’s quarters. You remember this before. So you’re actually heading away from the cargo this way now. – Oh. – You’re heading up. – Oh, oh. (laughing) I don’t want to do that. – Yeah. – I’ll just turn around and go the other way. – Okay you go ahead and go the other direction, and the guy who’s now walked up towards, up towards Costco, towards Jamedi, is now rushing up to it and goes and is talking to him like, sir, hello? – I’ll have Costco, is there a stairs or a ladder near here? – Make a perception check.

– Okay, oh, that’s a four. (all laughing) – You’re not sure, you see a couple of chairs, a table, like a card table that’s currently empty. You can see the hallway continues past where this illusion is happening. – Card table that’s currently empty? Costco’s gonna sit down at that card table and start dealing two hands. (laughing) – Oh my God. (all laughing) – As he does so, the guy’s like, Jamedi, the captain will be right here, wha? Just looks really confused. – Is there a way to slip by, or? – Your stealth check, yes there is. – Okay, I’m gonna– – You dart past. – Slip by the back, yeah. – And right at that moment you look over your shoulder, and you can see the captain is now heading down the hallway– – Oh my God. – In your direction. – Okay, I’ll make the effects disappear. – He goes, what, I don’t? – Oh but I’ll leave the effect of the cards still there.

(all laughing) (audience cheering) – You run to the end of the hallway, and just as you see, you see those stairs ascending down into the cargo hold below, and you hear over your shoulder, “and where is he?” – No, but Captain, he was, he was right, um. Look at the cards. (audience laughing) – Poof. (all laughing) – You hear the argument, and the guy desperately trying to explain what he just saw, as you disappear down into the cargo hold below. – Alright, I’m gonna just look around for boxes and interesting stuff, bullets, black powder, any books. – Also, in your ear, very quiet, you hear, oh hey, is everything okay, going well? – Ah yeah, just going number two! (audience laughing) It’s gonna be a while. That hard tack is hard coming out, too. (audience laughing) – On the way down the stairs, there is another floor that is the gun deck, that you do pass by and you can see the back end of these large cannons that are all kind of situated.

They’re all angled up a little bit, but there are these doors that kind of lead outward. And there are a number of cannon balls, and what looks to be some bits of black powder in small barrels, set up in that region. If you can continue down to the– – Sure, keep going. – To the bottom? – Looking for interesting stuff. – Alright, you head down to the cargo hold, and you see one source of lantern light.

And you can see there is, one of the various deckhands is down below, just keeping watch. Has a single oil lantern on what looks like a crate. And is, just like this small, handheld jug of some sort of, you assume a liquor, and he’s just sipping from it, and kind of leaning back and stretching. Just keeping an eye out. – I will use Mage Hand, and, he’s just got the one lantern down there? – Currently, yeah. – I will use Mage Hand to try to snuff out the flame. – Easy enough to do. – (whooshing) Goes dark, wha, what. – And I’ll keep going, using dark vision to look around and see things. – Okay, so you start making your way around. As you do, you start seeing sparks. – Sparks? – Oh, of a flint. – Oh he’s trying to light it again. – He’s trying to relight the lantern, he’s like ooh, fucking shit, stupid little lantern.

Alright, so make an investigation check if you wanted to look into the cargo hold. – Alright, investigation, 22. – Ooh. (audience cheering) – So, how thorough do you want this search to be? ‘Cause it’ll take you a while to go through the entire cargo hold. – Looking for interesting boxes. I don’t want to spend more than five minutes down here, if possible. – Okay. Okay, you’ll probably have to snuff the lantern one more time, and just really– – Sure. – Frustrate the hell out of him. – Sure. Maybe I can, can I grad it out of his hand? – The flint? – Or the lantern? – Yeah. – Make him drop it? – Okay, alright. So he lights the lantern, holds it up, and you knock it out of his hand? – Yeah. – Alright. Hold on a second, I gotta make a roll here. – We all go down in a blaze of glory. (all laughing) – There’s a lot of gunpowder on this ship. (audience laughing) – Well they shouldn’t be using candles, then. (audience laughing) – Yeah, you’re fine. – You fucking fuck. – The lantern hits the ground and tips over, and a little bit of oil spills out, but it doesn’t like scatter and ignite.

And he’s like, shit, shit, and he quickly goes and picks it back up again. While you’re investigating, the first couple crates you can get to without making any sort of noise that gets his attention, you can tell, you kind of lift up the top ones. The first one you come to is filled with, just, hard tack. – Ugh. – The second one you come to, a smell gets your attention immediately, and you kind of lift it up, and it does have a similar smell to that gunpowder type material that you encountered on that pistol. – Are they in bags, pouches, boxes? – Is it just loose? – You see what looks to be small kegs that are currently closed off.

– I’ll take a keg. – Okay, it’s about that big. – Yep. – You’re gonna pull it out, you got one. – Okay, next box. – Okay, he’s now picked up the lantern again. ‘Cause you’ve looked through two crates now. – Okay, shit. (laughing) I’ll use that Mage Hand again. And this time, I’ll, uh, I’ll, uh, I’ll unbuckle his belt. (audience cheering) – Alright, he’s clutching that lantern with a death grip now, and is now scanning the room, and suddenly his pants (whooshing) to the ground. And he’s like, “whoa, shit!” and he’s reaching down with the other hand trying to pull it up, and he’s got like the lantern in one hand, his hand on the outside of the pants in the other.

He’s kinda tripping a bit and bumps into one of the crates. Alright, you manage to get to a third crate. You open it up and look inside, and it looks like it’s a bunch of coiled rope. It’s a lot of repair materials for the ship. There’s a thick tar-like substance, almost. – Hmm. – It’s probably used for some form of repairs.

– Okay, well can I get to one more box? – Okay, he gets his pants up. – ‘Kay. – And he’s now in the process of walking through the room. Is there anything else you’re gonna do? – Ooh, I have things, I have some, I have, I have things. (audience laughing) I have some shards of shiny pottery. I will throw ’em across the room. (audience laughing) – Make a dexterity check. – Oh my God. – You said dexterity? – Yes. Something you’re good at. – Ah, 13. – Okay, no. It (whooshing), ting ting (clanking), the small shatter. The guy’s like, “who goes there?” (grunting) And he goes walking in that direction. You get one final crate that you get to. You go ahead and pull it open. Looking inside, it looks to be, this appears to be, I’m sorry there isn’t a whole lot more to find, but most of the cargo here is food. – Okay. – But you find a lot of what looks to be an older set of fruit, maybe various things that were brought from their last destination.

So the smell immediately hits you, of like fermenting orange and other types of various sweet, or at least now sweet, and fermented fruit. – Yeah, I’ll grab some of that, too. – Okay. (audience laughing) You quickly fill your pockets. It’s kinda squishy to the touch. – Ew. – And when they put it in there, it kind of (squishing) on the inside. – Okay. – You feel it, kind of the cold wetness of it, spilling against your shirt. – Yeah, yeah. – But you get some pockets filled with fermented fruit. – Okay, so I got an armful of gunpowder. – Yep. – Armful of rotting fruit. – Yeah. – That’s a success. (all laughing) – Alright, you make your way back? – I’m gonna head back, yeah.

– Okay make another stealth check. – Oh boy, with advantage, right? – Yep. – Not needed. Uh, 29. – What? (audience cheering) – Good rolling. – That’s money well spent for you guys. – Thank Mr. Pumat Sol for getting you that ability. – That’s right. (audience cheering) – Alright, so you make your way back. While this is happening, you guys can hear the argument outside from the other guards, and the captain lambasting them for pulling her out of her quarters, for telling ghost stories, and getting her excited that Jamedi had returned, when he actually hasn’t. Then they go quiet, you hear the footsteps come by your room, and the door opens.

(creaking) And the captain looks inside and goes, Captain Fjord, care to join me? (audience whistling) – But of course. (audience wooing) – Right this way. And she walks and heads towards her quarters. – Caleb’s alarm spell is just going, ding a ling a ling. – Yep. – Ding a ling a ling. – Yep. You follow her? – I do. – Alright, as you follow the captain, quickly behind, Nott, you make your way into the chamber. – Tick a tick a tick a tick. – (clicking) Close the door behind you. (Sam panting) – Oh, what is that smell? – Oh, I got some old mango and papaya. Ah, these are, um, I think they used to be oranges. And I got this. This is a keg of black powder, it goes boom. – Wow. – It’s like a bomb. (audience laughing) – Wow. – Yeah, yeah. We can use it to blow shit up. – That’s amazing. – You did fine. – Are we going to blow up the ship? – We could, I found out that there’s lots of black powder downstairs.

So if we wanted to, like make a getaway or something, we could go in, set it off, blow it up. Everyone would die, yeah. (audience laughing) – Would you do me a favor, just as a rule, maybe keep that 10 feet away from me please? (audience laughing) – Oh sorry, Caleb, yes. Of course. – No it’s useful, just you know, oil and water. – Okay. – You are kind of a walking hazard right now.

– I just, I had the itch. – No, look, I’m not shaming you for that. I’m just saying maybe we should put the black powder in the haversack. – Oh, good idea. – Oh yeah, give it to me, that’s smart. (all laughing) – There you go. – Oh my God. – While that’s happening, Fjord you make your way to the captain’s quarters. – Woo! (audience wooing) – Walk behind and close the door, and that’s where we’re gonna take a break.

– Oh, motherfucker! (audience cheering) – We’re taking a break. – Okay. (Sam muttering) – We’ve gotta figure out the code word. – Yeah. – So we’ll be right back here in a few minutes. We’re gonna take a quick break. Be patient, but yeah, we’ll see you here shortly, guys. (audience cheering) – No giveaway, yeah. – Oh, here we go. – Oh thanks. ♪ You got the perfect warlock ♪ ♪ Her weapons and supplies ♪ ♪ But you need a place to track your stuff ♪ ♪ ‘Cause you’re so disorganized ♪ ♪ You click open the webpage ♪ ♪ You heard about on Critical Role ♪ ♪ And now you’re ready to kick some butt ♪ ♪ In a mine chock full of gnolls ♪ ♪ It’s D&D ♪ ♪ D&D ♪ ♪ D&D Beyond ♪ ♪ Yeah D&D ♪ ♪ D&D ♪ ♪ D&D Beyond ♪ ♪ You got your steps ♪ ♪ You’ve got your souls ♪ ♪ And you’ve got your invisible wall ♪ ♪ It’s D&D ♪ ♪ D&D ♪ ♪ D&D Beyond ♪ – So Taliesin, you have us this mission at Comic-Con to go to artist alley with a stack of two dollar bills.

So I did, I got this wonderful piece of original art of Alexander Hamilton. – Oh my God. – Oh my God. – And as I was handing over the money, I looked down and realized that I was buying him in Jeffersons. (men laughing) – I purchased this Hamilton with Jeffersons. I may or not have remembered to put that picture in, but I think I took a side by side, just to mark the moment. Which, I don’t know who would have been more happy or angry about, but I think Hamilton wins. – I think Hamilton does win on that one. – Oh that’s amazing. (upbeat music) (suspenseful music) – Hi, I’m Eric Campbell, and here at Geek and Sundry, we like to play a lot of RPGs.

I’ve been lucky enough to run a few myself, like Dr. Who on TBD RPG, Star Trek on Shield of Tomorrow, and of course now Callisto 6. And we thought it was time for us to sit down with some of our players and discuss their characters and the choices they made on a very special one night only covering Callisto 6 and Vampire: The Masquerade: L.A. By Night. Please join us for a night of fun insights and emotional backstories, the way only G&S can do it. I gotta be honest, this feels like the laziness thing we’ve ever done, you know, gag wise. Would you agree with that? – Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. – Okay. (galactic music) (alarms blaring) – Radar picking up incoming debris field. Impact in 30 seconds. – Copy, I see it on radar. – Get us out of the way, Tommy. 25 seconds to impact. – I’m working on it. – Correct negative 16 by negative 48 by negative 32.

(nervous breathing) 10 seconds to impact. Too late to close debris shield. Brace for impact, Tommy! – What do I do? – Max! (computer whistles) – Wow, that was a close one. – What just happened? – We’d both be dead if that weren’t a training exercise. – Training exercise? – Yeah. A lot different than your simulators back home, huh? – Hmm mmm. It’s gonna be a long flight. – Yep. – Mm hmm. (dramatic music) (explosion) (slide guitar music) (whimsical music) – The exercise we used to do when I was taking some theory classes was to describe a car. (clanking) (lasers whirring) If you’re thinking about a car, and you imagine a car, and you say a car has four doors, four wheels and a windshield. (door closes) Then you drive it around. (tires screeching) Well, if had two doors, is it still a car? (metal tearing) Well, yeah. Well, if I removed all the wheels, I can’t drive around anymore, (metal grinding) and it has no wheels, but is it still a car? Yeah, well if I remove the windshield, and all the doors are taken off, and there’s no wheels and an engine, is it still a car? – Yeah? – Well, if it’s just the four wheels, is it a car? No.

(surf rock music) – Welcome back to season five of Spellslingers. – I don’t know what any of this is. – Look at me, I’m drooling talking about it. – I’m very serious. – Your genius pal day nine has figured it out. – Wow, okay, he must have been friendly to the gods. – Ooh! Or maybe huhh! – He’s only making my deck stronger. Why did I not pay attention to life? Why? – Still waiting for Shawn. – I absolve myself of all responsibility. – Imagine, imagine the privilege. – It’s good to be back. Welcome back, everyone. Welcome to Spellslingers. (softly chiming bells) – Hi, I’m Will Friedle, and I apologize I’m a little bit woozy. See, we finally perfected the technology, and I have been shrunk down so I can paint a mini close up. Join us on Painters Guild, only on Alpha. (sighs) (elevator music) Bring paint! Season three of Painters Guild, only on Alpha.

(whimsical music) – I saw Travis Willingham over the weekend. – Oh, I saw this. – Did he steal your jacket? – You were there. (spacey warbling) He saw it, and he’s like, “Whoa, dude, nice jacket.” (laughing) I was like “Thank you, Travis,” and he was like, “Man, where did you get a jacket that,” because we’re both roughly the same size. He’s just seven times more yoked than I could ever be. So I let him try on the jacket, and it fit him better than it fit me. – He looked pretty good. – Give me the jacket back.

(punching) – You earned that jacket. – Give me my jacket back. – It looks perfect on you. – And you get to lord it over everybody. – I do. – Oh! – Ignore that trying-too-hard feeling. – Give me the jacket back. (gentle music) (whooshing) (springing) (crashing) (gentle music) (surf rock music) (uplifting Celtic music) (music increases in tempo) (music slows in tempo) (music fades) – Alright, alright, everybody find their seats. Everybody find their seats, please. (audience cheering) Hey. – This is my seat.

– That’s your seat? That looks very comfortable. No, I don’t want to watch that. (laughs) How you guys doing so far? (audience cheering) Man, this is fun. There’s trash. No, no, these are, oh, someone wrote a letter, how sweet. Okay, this is for Ashley. (audience laughing) I thought Sam just threw shit off the table and, like, whatever else. Okay, let’s see. Oh no, that’s a subpoena. We’ll just put that there. Alright, guys, I can’t hear what you’re saying. I’m so sorry. Later on tonight, I’ll think “what was that, hmm?” Guys, before we bring the cast back out, we have a very special guest here tonight. (audience cheering) This person is no bigger fan of the show or of you, the Critters, none other than the person who we have to thank for Mr.

Sam Riegel, it’s Momlan. (audience cheering wildly) Look at this. She’s got her dice bag. Oh my god. – I’m ready to go here. – Say hi to everybody. – Hi, everybody, I’m so excited to be here. (audience cheering) – Momlan and I have been watching the show from upstairs, and it’s so much fun. Are you having a good time? – I’m having the best time of my life. – Are you, yes! (audience cheering) – Are you so happy to see so many great Critters in your home of New York. – I love all Critters, and I feel the love. (audience cheering) – I love it. Okay, why don’t you welcome back the cast. – Okay, great, wow, I’m glad to say this. Welcome back, the cast of Critical Role! – Yes! Yes! (audience cheering) Okay, let’s go over here, and we’ll do that part over here.

(audience cheering wildly) Hmm, hmm, hmm. Okay, alright, before we get started, Momlan told me backstage that you have a question that you’ve always wanted to ask Matt Mercer since you’ve been watching the show. – Yes, yes. I want to ask Matt a question. Matt. – Yes? – What time is it? (audience cheering) – Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go, wait, only because it’s you. – Aww. – What’s that? – It’s high noon. – Oh man, oh man. You’re welcome, New York, you’re welcome. (audience cheering) Take a bow, take a bow. – That was the Momlan free pass. Enjoy it while you can.

(laughing) (panel members exclaiming) – Are we back, are we on? – We’re on. – I believe we’re back. – Hey, before we go, can I just say, there was one special Critter here who got the farthest back seat in the entire theater, someone who is in balcony, row K, seat 32. If you look next to your seat, I left you a little present. (audience ahhs) That’s you, that’s you, way, way, way back in the back, back corner right there, you.

– He shit under the chair. (laughing) – Just look to the right of your seat, balcony row K, seat 32. Okay, good. (audience cheering) – Look at this. – It’s the wrong person. It’s that person up there. (laughing) They’ll never find it. It’s gonna be found in like six years from now. (audience laughing) – Look at this theater of beautiful faces. This is absolutely surreal. (audience cheering) (groaning) – We love you! – You guys are amazing. I love you too! (laughing) (audience cheering) But, it is not the time for loving.

Well… (audience cheering) It is the time for Dungeons and Dragons. (audience cheering) – Why not both? (laughing) – So picking up where we left off. Fjord. – They finally found it. (laughs) – You got this, you got this. – You walk into the Captain’s chambers. – Yep. – Closing the door behind you, it’s dark lit, the back door is open to the balcony out there, and you can hear the waves kind of crash against the ship. (audience cheering) There are a few candles lit in the room where they were before. – Bow bow bow chick. – But the captain is standing in the doorway and looking out over the ocean, and as soon as the door closes behind, turns around and looks and goes, “So…

“I would like to talk with you about how you’ve been reached out to, how you are touched by–” – Code word. – “This magnificent entity. (audience laughing) “Uka’toa, there’s been a very long time since I’ve met anyone else chosen, so please, tell me how this happened.” – Before this goes any further, because I’m fascinated. – Yeah. – I would like to attempt to go into Frumpkin, the one-ounce elf owl, if possible. – Yep. I’m gonna still kind of up on the deck. – Yeah, I remember where that room was, so, Frumpkin is taking a little fly around.

(imitates owl) (audience cheers) – It’s better when somebody’s watching. – All right. So Frumpkin goes and perches on the outer balcony of the Squall Eater. – Captain, I admit, I too am very encouraged to find someone that seems to have gone sort of through the same sort of visions and trials that I have. You said it’s been a long time since you’ve met another chosen. Are you saying you’ve met previous? I found myself feeling I was the only one that was experiencing this… vision. (coughing) (audience laughing) – I thought you were gonna say something else. (audience laughing) – She kind of leans her shoulder against the doorway, looking over at your eyes, kind of distantly reaching for memories, and goes, “There has been one other. “It’s been many years. “But.” “This came to me “through a series of unexpected…” You see her searching for the right words and says, I’ve always considered myself a very lucky person…

And at first I thought this was a terrible portend, when this beautiful Uka’toa spoke to me. (audience laughing) But it was a purpose that nobody else in Darktow was going on, and with that I began to gather my crew And it took a while but each of them began to believe as well. All of them support, and when this is done, the blessing is high… Nay, he is unstoppable behind me as I am on the sea. – The blessing you say? I haven’t heard speak blessing. I’ve heard words of encouragement, and your crew believes as you do.

– They have now, yes. – I’ve read the books, I’ve looked up about the Ki’Nau. I have learned of the history. And as they once were the masters of the Lucidian Ocean so too will be I, so too can be us. – I look forward to this very, very much. I noticed as we were leaving your quarters that beautiful iron piece above your doorway, a snake circling back upon itself, the eye in the middle, but it seemed there were small eyes all around the body of the snake.

– They say that Uk’otoa is an infinite length entity, a serpent that entwines the entirety of the water. – Uk’otoa. – That is but eyes across its body to see what else it must conquer… – That sounds… – Beautiful? – Exactly the word I was searching for. (audience laughing) Speaking of beautiful. – Oh! (audience cheering) (laughing) I was so taken by that marking, that tattoo you had, I was wondering if you might show it to me again? (audience cheering) – I think they’re about to get naked. – Make a persuasion check.

(audience laughing) – I’m uncomfortable with what’s happening. (audience laughing) Natural 20. (audience cheering) (laughing) – She kind of tugs down the scarf to reveal the tattoo without breaking eye contact and goes, “I’ll do you one better.” (audience cheering) – Zip? – Removes the glove off of her right hand, (gasps) and in the palm you see a familiar yellow eye emerging from the center. (gasps) (laughing) This is the blessing. It leaves the first stage. I have been chosen to be one step to his unsealing. – Like, a fucking eye or a tattoo of an eye? – Make a perception check. (audience laughing) – 16. – You hope it’s a tattoo, but the way the candle light hits it looks smooth. – Oh God. – And somewhat glassy. – Fuck, that’s getting weird. (audience cheering) That’s some Pan Labyrinth’s bullshit going on. My, my. (laughing) Fuck it, I feel now you and I are more connected than I could’ve ever imagined and I’ll summon the sword. (audience cheering) – With a flash and a scattering of ocean water across the far wall of the chamber, the Falchion emerges in your grasp. (laughing) (audience applauding) It’s what it’s always done.

(audience cheering) – Wait, which sword, what do you mean? – Caleb can’t hear any of this, but in the middle of the room he says, it is getting very kinky in that room. (audience laughing) – God damn it. – Jester’s just pacing back and forth. – She immediately takes a step forward, like holding her palm forward still. Not even looking at you, just looking at the sword and specifically focusing on the eye in the center of the hilt. And she’s speechless for a moment, you hear her breath in suddenly.

Perhaps it was destiny. – Perhaps it was. Do you know what will happen, if we? (Laura makes clicking sound) – Sorry. (audience laughing) I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. (audience laughing) – Do you know what will happen, if we take this sphere to the place of its choosing? Have you seen what’s unleashed or have you only heard? – I’ve only heard, as far as I know, when these survivors of Zahir, this long sealed God Gujaluz, that they are the ones, who put Uk’otoa away, below the ocean. If I’m correct and this is one of the original temples, then I think, I think we can bring him back. – I admit, I find myself very curious. – This is but one, there are three I know of. – Three temples? – Three temples across these islands. – All of the same construct, all looking for the same, what do you call it? – I don’t know if there’s a name for it, I just call it the sphere, the eye. – Same.

(audience laughing) – I’ll be honest, the dreams, that I have, it’s mostly just feeling and an occasional word, like he’s being held back. But I feel, that if we can, one by one release him from these bindings, he can be more direct with us, be more direct with his blessing. And we, we will bequeath the sea onto us. – My God, the sea. (audience laughing) What does, what does the eye say to you? Anything you remember? – Tells me to, to watch, to learn. (grunting) (audience laughing) – To consume? (audience laughing) – To consume. (audience cheering) (audience laughing) – Oh my God. – Oh my God, Matt and Travis are gonna make out. (laughing) (audience cheering) – It’s just so much, you guys, it’s just so much. – Details. – What is happening, what is happening? – I confess, having spent so much time on the water, the command over it seems like too great a gift to receive, but I crave it. (audience cheering) – She steps around the desk. – Oh, fuck. (audience cheering) And just places her fingers on the hilt of the sword, where the eye is.

(audience member shouting) Then you’ll need your rest. – Indeed. (audience laughing) – Milady. – We will all. (audience laughing) I will put my hand on hers and say, we will all need our rest for the trials to come. Thank you for sharing your story with me, I don’t feel quite as alone in this. – Thank you for your honest, eventually. (laughing) – It’s like an onion, you gotta peel it, you know. – Understood, understood. Anyway, and she pulls her hand away. Go. (audience laughing) And may sweet dreams find you. (audience cheering) – I turn and I head towards the door and as I get there, I look back. (laughing) (audience applauding) And I walk away. (audience cheering) – That was fucking awesome. (audience cheering) (grunting) (laughing) – Alright. – Oh my God.

– I thought they were going to make bump-sen, but it did not happen. (audience laughing) – They didn’t, they didn’t, they didn’t? – At this point, the door opens and Ford returns to the room. – We weren’t listening to anything at all, we know everything. Can you please fill in the details. – What was going on, what did you, guys, do, huh? – Want a seven day old banana? (audience laughing) – No, thank you, where did that even come from? That’s okay.

Not much actually, she is far more into the influence of whatever this is, than I initially thought. She took off her glove and there was an eye in the palm of her hand and not another tattoo, I think it was like a fucking eye. Ahhhhhhh! Yeah, I know, so she showed me hers and I showed her mine. – Oh. (audience laughing) – Eyes, our eyes, on the sword. – Right. – Did you tell her the orb was inside of you? – I did not. – Well, I’m assuming, if she’s got the eyeball on her hand, she has an orb inside of her, Fjord? – Fuck. – Yeah! – I didn’t even think of that. – I mean it’s got to be, right? – Yup. – Question. I am still watching her. (audience cheering) – What the fuck do you mean still? (audience cheering) – I know it’s confusing I like to stay inside this Zemnian accent so much, but I did not say that out loud, that was for the DM. – Oh, shit. – Question, Caleb? – Yeah, I did not stop watching her after he left. – Right. – What is she doing? – Make a perception check.

– Okay. – Roll well. – Just a 10. – Okay, okay. You watch, as she takes her glove and puts it back on, kind of looking at her palm as she does, looks out over the ocean and kind of steps out to the railing, where she has to kind of move away to get out of the visual perspective, and just kind of spends a minute or so looking over the water. Then turns back, goes and closes the door, walks over to underneath the main doorway, where that shrine is.

And she pulls a stool up to stand up to about eye level to where the shrine is. And then she takes out, pulls her glove off once more, makes a small cut on her finger and just drops a few piece of blood onto the small iron kind of shrine. It’s maybe about that big and then puts the glove back on, mumbles a few words beneath her breath, though Frumpkin might not able to see from this perspective. And then goes ahead and snuffs the candles. – So, she did some arcane shit. Did she also look very hot and bothered? (audience laughing) – With that perception roll, I’d say you don’t know. (laughing) – Yeah, but you know.

(audience laughing) – I don’t know, man, not for me, I’m real bad at seeing that. – Alright, so eyeball, hand, you showed her yours. – Yup. – Was she, I don’t know, did she say anything else about– – Yeah, no, you’re right, she actually said there was one before, that was also chosen. – What happened to him? – Yeah, when you asked what happened to him, what did she say? (audience laughing) – Where was that fucking pigeon? We didn’t get to that part, but I feel like, because I saw my former captain Vandren with the same sphere, that he might be the one, that she as talking about.

(gasping) – Wait, wait, wait, wait. – Wait. – Wait. – Wait. Wait. – Wait. – Wait. – What if Vandren had a different sphere, what if there was like a whole bunch of them? – There’s a chance, she said, that this temple, that we’re about to visit was one of three. – So there’s three, what if Vandren and you, and she have them? – Yeah and they’re all keys to the temple? – What if Vandren had one and then she knew it and she killed Vandren, and now she’s going to kill you, and she’s gonna try to take your orb? – Jester, I don’t think she killed Vandren, he was on the ship, when it exploded, I don’t even– – How did the ship explode, Fjord? – She has a ship with cannons. (audience laughing) – Also, not said, that there’s like a fuck ton of gunpowder under the ship so. – No, I understand, Sabian, my crewmate, he went down and sabotaged the ship, he set off an explosion. That has to be what happened. – Who was Sabian working for, Avantika? (laughing) – Also, if she has a sphere and can talk to the serpent gods, I’m assuming she has some sort of magical powers, kind of like you have magical powers.

And she has like cool robes and is wearing an amulet, that just screams magic. – Yeah, well, so after you, you know, made the flirt talk, that I was watching. (audience laughing) – The flirt talk? – Oh, They were both pouring it on pretty thick. – Well, I think we were being pretty respectful. (audience laughing) – That’s a subjective thing, my friend. Anyway, she is very interested in you and after you left her room, I watched a little bit longer and she did some cutting, she dropped a little bit of her blood on a miniature altar or something, do you do this? – I do not, altar, the little iron piece above her doorway? – Yeah, she stood on a stool and she did a little. – I saw that on the way out.

I don’t do anything like that, I don’t know what that would– – I have a question, she said, that there was somebody, that was before her? – She did, she said there was one other chosen besides herself and now me. – Did you look at her other, did you get a closer look… – I did, the tattoo. – Did that look– – Have I? – Familiar? – Seen that anywhere else? – To you, I would say no, not in the time that you saw it. – Didn’t, didn’t Molly have? (audience cheering) Did he have any tattoos, that had eyes in them, like the peacock feathers? – He had nine of them.

– She’d know. – Nine. (audience laughing) – This one. – Nine eyes? – I mean, he also had that all seeing eye on his back, right? – What? (audience laughing) – I mean you roomed with him Fjord, didn’t you see him naked? – Yes. (audience cheering) – Sure. – Don’t be a bad roommate, he was a bad roommate, don’t be a bad roommate. (laughing) – Could be nothing. – I mean, eyeballs, we all have two. There’s a lot of eyeballs around. Just saying things have eyes. – Right. – Just trying to be skeptical. – Yeah, I know. – Yeah. – So she said we should all get some rest, I feel like we’ve earned some trust.

I feel, like we’ll be in good hands. I don’t know if I entirely trust her, but I do feel like she is motivated to see where this leads. – That’s one way of putting it, yeah. (laughing) – I will say, she seems a bit on the fanatical end, she spoke of acquiring powers, that I can’t even begin to comprehend, control over the oceans and seas. – Whoa. – Or other follow. – What, it sounds cool. – That’s a lot, yeah, that’s a big power. – But doesn’t that sound like too much? – I mean, what would you even do with that, what’s the point of it, really? – Well, I know what I would do with it. – What would you do with it? – Get rid of the seas. (laughing) Tell them to go away and go somewhere else, and have more land. – See, and that just a point of a higher motivation for something, I mean, like, there’s gotta be a step two. – She seemed very maniacal is the word, that I would choose. She seemed very driven. – And Duce has a point, there’s gotta be a goal at the end of all those powers, right? – Well, we’ll find out tomorrow, I suppose.

– We will and in the meantime, I would suggest, that we acted like we are as interested and motivated to see this through as her followers, otherwise, I think we’ll stick out. – Did she say anything else about what she wants? – No. – I mean, it sounded like she wanted power and a lot of it. – She does, unleashing things, that are too terrible to talk about, but you can use your imagination.

(audience laughing) – Was that a dick joke? (audience laughing) – Nope. – Jessie, are you alright? – I mean. – You’ve just had this like really anger face in the corner for a little bit. – Oh, I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m just sitting there with my sketchbook, drawing captain Avantika with like daggers. (laughing) Sticking into her like a voodoo doll, so. – You’re not drawing like this, you’re drawing like this? – Yeah, like aggressively, I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m happy over here. – No, it looks like the third pencil you’ve broken, so I just wanted to, just curious, fourth. – Ford, if we venture into this sticky wicket. (audience laughing) Do you share even in a small way similar desires as this woman? Do you want to control the sea? – It’s the first time I’ve heard of it. I mean it sounds incredible, but I can’t even begin to fathom what that would be like. That responsibility, I don’t know who I would be, if I could wield something like that. – Well, you are grappling with a great deal of power, we have watched you do it.

Are you trying to understand this thing better, be free of it, master it? – Understand it would be a start. – You can’t know what to do until you understand it. I mean, that’s step one and once you understand it, we’ll try and help you make a reasonable decision about what to do with it. – What if the closer you get to it, the weirder you get, like what if you start feeling those urges, like she has and stuff. – What urges? – Like the powerful urges. (audience laughing) – That’s a good question. – Well, I’ve asked Beau to check me and I’ll check her on areas of aggression. And if I start controlling the oceans and shit, maybe we’ll talk about it. – Okay. – But until then, I can only tell you, I only wanna know more about this and find out about what happened to my friend. That’s as far as I’m thinking.

– Let’s do that then. – I’m into it. – Let’s get some rest. – Try to sleep. – Alright, you, guys, all get yourselves to sleep. – Yeah, I place the elf owl back on Beauregard’s shoulder and go to sleep. – Okay, as you guys, you guys all find yourself to rest. Is your mic not working? – What? – Oh, no, it’s not working. – No, it’s not. – We’ve lost Ashley. – Share with Tal. – You share with Taliesin. – Wait, wait, no, it’s gone. – We’ll share, that’s fine. – Alright, so as you all go to sleep, finding yourself into an evening of rest, Ford– – No, God damnit! (audience laughing) – Should we leave the stage, do we need to leave the stage? – No.

– You don’t need to. That was more helpful earlier in the campaign, when everything was a super mystery, you kind of spilled all the beans recently, so it’s fine. You walk in darkness, your eyes trained on a barely visible horizon of faded blue. The lightless midnight horizon, that breaks this endless void. The ground is soft beneath your feet and your slow gate bounces slightly with each step.

Like time is crawling in this buoyant space. You look down at yourself, obscured by a shadow, until a faint yellow light bursts from your sword. The light of a yellow eye now open from the hilt like a lantern, lighting a tangled forest of kelp before you. Bubbles escape the corner of your mouth, but you breath the waters calmly, like a thick vapor. Learn. You search through the mass of shifting slick sea vines eventually coming upon the base of a staircase going up.

Grow. What do you do? – I climb those motherfucking stairs. (audience laughing) – As you ascend, the cold stone stairs, the beam of the eye lighting the way, your passage is suddenly blocked by something. A statue, humanoid, but featureless. Provoke. – I’ll fire two blasts of eldritch blast at it. – The Statue breaks apart, its various shards emerging from the detonation and slowly sinking in what is now the thick waters around you. As the head stumbles past the light of the edge of your sword, the face is recognizable in a flash, Sabian. You push beyond continuing to ascend the stairs. You come upon another statue, larger and looming more than the last. What do you do? – Witch bolt, right to its chest. – As the darkened energy arcs from the hilt of your blade, hitting it you watch as the cracks spider up the stone before it detonates into 100s of shards of dark stone. You see half of the face slowly hit and clatter on of the stone before falling off to the side.

Vandren. Do you continue up? – The stairs, are they staying the same, is there anything at the foot of the statue after they break apart? – Looking down the statue itself is now immaterial. You’ve entirely annihilated it and you glance over the side, and what few shards still remain, slowly drift beyond your view into the dark abyss below. – I’ll move forward. – Continuing to ascend these steps one by one, they grow more and more narrow. But you think you see what appears to be an approaching surface of some kind. You’re clear of the water, suddenly breaking the surface and you’re standing in a dark stone chamber.

You’ve managed to get all the way up standing within the ankle high water in the middle of the stone chamber and you watch, as all the liquid begins to drain. Until there’s no more water around you. Revealing in the center of this chamber, an intricate circle in the ground, maybe two feet across. Beautiful ancient craftsmanship, detailed to depict a serpent body coiled. Carved eyes emerging from the creature’s body every few inches. The center of the water is a circle of water, like a well. Watching. What do you do? – I’ll summon the sword and hold the eye facing the circle.

– As you hold the blade up, you see the light hits the water and is absorbed by it. You don’t see anything beneath it, it seems to be almost just a void, that eats the light. – Void, that eats the light. Can I walk into the center of the circle? – You step into it? – Well, I definitely do now. (audience laughing) – That’s what you wanna do? – Yeah. – Okay, you step into the circle, it’s only a few inches deep of water and your feet feel the bottom. It is shallow. But you’re now standing above it, it’s only about two feet across, so it’s basically you standing over the small pool. – Is there a ceiling, are there walls, are there statues in this space? – Looking around you, you can see stone walls and you could see a ceiling above you. It is almost plain featureless room, aside from the very edges of what looks to be stone stacked upon itself. – Watching. Can I look into the eye of the sword, do I see anything? – You look towards the hilt and the eye just stares back at you. The light kind of temporarily blinding you for a moment, as you adjust.

– What the fuck. Can I try and take the edge of the blade and press it into the floor? – You press the blade in through the water and it hits the stone. – Jesus. I don’t know what you want from me. – No response. (audience laughing) Then you hear once more, watch. – I’ve stared at the eye. Fuck. I have no idea. – Make a perception check. – Ooh, 19. – 19. (audience applauding) The handle of the sword is somewhat slick in your grasp from the water you’ve been traveling from before and you feel the blade almost trying to turn in your grasp, turning the eye away from you. – I’ll let it go where it’s leading and point it towards the floor. – It slowly finds its way just resting facing down towards the pool. – Okay. – Put your face in it. Sure. Can I put my face in the water? (audience cheering) – You place your face down into the water, and as opposed to the stone surface you’ve seen there, it is just this vacuous black void.

And there, you see in a sudden instant, the eye opens up before you, the bright yellow light enveloping you. Suddenly, there’s searing heat and you pull back out of the pool and the entire chamber is filled with blazing hot steam. It hurts at first, but then, it begins to feel nice. This burning sensation coiling across your body, going instead from pain to a surge of strength. – Of control, of purpose. The voice again says, “Reward.” And as you look up around you the stone falls away and on the distance you can see that horizon once more. Now an endless ocean. You can see the faint ripples of waves across a sourceless bit of moonlight. And there you just see dozens of ships coming towards you.

(audience laughing) What do you do? – Uh, can I look behind myself real fast? – You turn behind you and it is just darkness. Inky, infinite. – A shit load of ships coming towards me. Cool. Are there any pigeons in this dream? (all laughing) – Make a Perception check. – 16! – No. (audience laughing) – Can I reach my hand out and try and control the ships? – As you concentrate, looking towards the right of you, where it looks like four or five vessels are in a localized portion of this black, endless ocean. As you concentrate you see the water begin to boil beneath them. – Yeah, we’re going to go ahead and grab whatever the fuck that is and pull it up. – You watch as the ocean fires up like a spire, a pillar of solid ocean water.

You watch as the ships are scattered in different directions, as it slams them down once more, scattering them into thousands of pieces of splintered wood. (audience clapping and yelling) – Can I take both hands and just do a coup de grace, like two big (crashing sound) over the top? – You watch as the center of the ocean parts, giving this slight vacuum. This almost dual sided, abyssal crevice in the center of the ocean. On the opposite ends of where your hands rise, you watch the waves rise up and in one, (crashing noise) two solid crystalline walls of water slam together and then (water sound) even out. As the ripples subside, all you can see are the thousands and thousands of glittering shards of what once were that armada. – Moses shit. – Don’t wake up, don’t wake up, don’t wake up, don’t wake up. – Reward. And you wake up. (audience applauding) – Wow, another dream with seamen scattered everywhere. (laughing) – It’s somehow worse with that outfit. – (laughing) Yes! – That’s my people. – As the rest of you come to consciousness in the morning, Ford seems to be sleeping in a little bit before suddenly shooting up with a gasp.

– Did you have a dream? Did you have a dream? – What? No, no, I didn’t. – You’re drenched in sweat. Just throwing that out there. – Yeah. – Real soggy. – Yeah, no, we were fighting just crazy beasts and monsters and all this talk of serpents, I feel… – Ford. Are you lying? – Make an Insight check. Make a Deception check. – Also why did you talk so funny for a moment? – Ah, come on! (audience laughing) – 16. – I rolled a fucking one! (audience laughing) – I mean, he seems perturbed by something, but you don’t disbelieve him. Caduceus, however… (audience yelling) – I just woke up, I don’t actually know what’s going on right now. – Fair enough (laughing). Oh but looking at Passive Insight for Beauregard and Caleb. – You sounded like you had a different accent for a moment there, Ford. – I’m not going to say anything. – I don’t know.

I’m so used to copying people I get all sorts of stuff mixed up in my head. – Let’s go. – Did I miss something, I don’t…? – You sure you don’t want to talk about it? – Talk about… the dream? – Yeah. – I mean, it’s just a dream. What’s there to talk about? – Nobody likes to hear other people’s dreams. It’s really boring. – First thing in the morning, you’re just like, oh, I know, it was amazing. Tell me more. – Yeah that’s true. (audience laughing) – I mean, wait, you guys didn’t have any dreams of a similar nature, did you? – No, we didn’t. – What kind of dreams of a similar nature? – I had this dream that I was walking in this field and then there was this banana tree right in front of me and I climbed it and I got some bananas and then they turned bad really fast. – Ooo! – Yeah, so I think it had something to do with that.

– Yeah, yeah. – And then the grass was kind of purple, and then this guy came up to me and he was like, “Whoa, I just heard…” but then his face turned into an eagle and he flew away What do you think it means? (laughing) – You should write those down. You should write those down, they’re really important. – Okay. – Look, just as someone who still doesn’t have any type of dreams, whatever’s going on, it’s not normal, I just want to point that out. – She just wants you to know that you’re not normal. (audience laughing) Should we go off to our adventure now? – All right, you guys head your way up to the deck… – Except that I pull Beau back while everyone proceeds upstairs. – All right. (audience laughing) – Speaking as a massive liar, I think he is lying to us a little bit. – Look, we can know, just like I know about your shit, we can know about Ford’s shit, and we can just keep that on the down low, right? I’m interested in knowing about people’s shit, not exposing it. – Sure. One eye open.

– One eye open. – I don’t think he knows what he wants yet. – Oh, and you think you do? You the authority on knowing what other people want? – No, I’m the authority on knowing what I want, Beauregard. – Yeah. Me neither. (laughter) – He spoke with a different accent for a split second. – We’ve heard Ford speak with a lot of different accents. – Yeah, to a purpose, not when he is waking up instantly. – He clearly had some sort of fucking dream. We know that. – Okay. – He’ll tell us when he wants to tell us, all right? – I walk upstairs. – Okay, as you guys are made to the deck, it’s early morning. The sun’s only really been up maybe an hour or so. There’s still a mist across the ocean and you can see the distance where the reefs kind of encapsulate the surrounding area of this island. The mist is so heavy that you cannot see beyond other than a few other signs that you recall when you first passed through that reef. Looking off the way of the shore, you can see that The Mistake is currently grounded and looks like there’s a small crew trying to do repairs.

You’re not quite sure to what extent and how long it will take but the ship seems to be at least the time being out of commission. – Hopefully we can fix our Mistake at some point. (laughter) That’d be nice. Thank you, sorry, carry on. – You can see Vera, Captain Avantica and a few of the crew members are currently in a conversation with a man that you hadn’t seen before. You see a gentleman completely bald head, very, very dark brown skin. A heavy kind of leather coat with what looks to be like a few belts or bandoliers attached to it. He has a satchel on the side and a few blades that are sheathed and kind of hanging… He looks like an individual who’s ready to just travel in case anything happens he’s prepared.

Kind of, and maybe a little cleaner than Caleb, but definitely a little ramshackle in appearance. But in the middle of a conversation and as soon as you approach the deck the Captain notices your presence and goes, “Good morning! Come, come, it seems that our destined journey is just around the corner. Please, the Mighty Nein, may I introduce you to a good friend who is hoping to be arrived soon, Jemetty. Jemetty, this is the Mighty Nein. He turns to you all and goes, “It is a pleasure to meet you all. The Captain has told me that we are to be traveling to the island together, yes?” – Oui. – We. – That is correct. It is a pleasure to meet you as well. – I will tell you it is very dangerous. Bring what you think is necessary. The island itself is indeed cursed for the creatures that call it home. – Well, if you’ve explored it, why don’t you tell us what’s necessary to bring? – I was about to give you that before you so rudely interrupted me first thing in the morning.

– Okay well then go on. What? (laughter) – He gives like a look to the Captain, the Captain’s like, (shrugs). – There are a number of lizard folk that patrol the outskirts of the island calling it home, hunting. I could not quite suss out the source of where their society is, but they seem to live on the exterior of the island. Further in, I did find the temple. But it is not abandoned. There are villages of snake men that surround this stone shrine. Their mutations are various and strange. I managed to avoid being seen and I made it to the initial interior chambers of this village, of this stone obelisk of a temple, but I surmised it would be best if I went further with aid of those who were capable of defending themselves.

So I came back. I do have a path that I think is a, how you say, least resistance, so I would say bring what is important to perhaps deal with lizards and snakes. – These lizard and snake people… – Yes? – Did they seem nice? (laughter) – No. – Did you see any snake and lizard woman and children? – There were various of both sexes and perhaps between, I do not know the full idea of these creatures’ physiology. – All right. – That’s all you wanted to know, just… – I just wanted to know if they had happy families, that’s all, you know. – Did they have feet or? – I did not look too closely into the… – But what do they do for fun? – Jester, we’re probably going to kill all of these people. Maybe we don’t care what they do.

– I would not suggest trying to kill them all. Trying to avoid them, expediency, using the shadows, and travel without being found I think is our best bet at survival. – I would agree. I think they’re quite territorial. We would do best to remain unseen. – Have you run into these people before, Ford? – No, I haven’t, I’m… – Um… – Have you had dreams about them or something? – No, no, what was your comment? – Is this not ringing a bell for any of ya’ll’s? Snake people, temples, the Naga. We already fought ’em. Done this once before. Think that’s where we got the little sphere thing that went in Ford’s thing, had a little circle with like a pool in it and you could see shit? – They were like fish people, not like snake people. – I don’t remember any of this. – Yeah they were like… (laughter) (audience applauding) – All right, all right, but hear me out. Because we fought those people in the swamp, they were the Maro people, right? Maybe they’re still worshiping the same type of serpentine deity.

– I see where you’re going. – You could, you know, a lot of different people takes a lot of different types. – What if we were already in one of the temples? That we’re looking for. You said there were three, right? – That’s what I just said. – Well then that was a devil, right? – Yeah, yeah. – That’s what you were going for. – That’s what I was totally going for. – I understand. – Thank you. – I thought it was like metaphorical that we were still in the temple and just having some kind of elaborate, like a dream of life and we’ve all been in this temple all along and, I mean, that would have been really cool although really convoluted the more I’m thinking about it. Doesn’t make any sense. – Before we go stealthing in, Ford, do you want to look at the dodecahedron or anything? Would that be good? – Me? – Yeah, you, you’re the…

– The Captain goes, “What is a dodecahedron?” – It’s a, it is a sigil of our group that is sometimes viewed just to like focus one’s energy. – Like a pep talk. – But I don’t think I need it. I’m very focused on the fucking job at hand and perhaps someone needs help with like stealth, you know? – Not me. – Oh, plus zero. All right, I’ll look at it. (laughter and applause) Should have looked at that first. – The Captain kind of claps her hands twice again, to get everyone’s attention. Vera, look after the ship. Look after our men, their men. Jemally, lead the way. I am excited to see what we uncover together, huh? – Indeed. – And I hope you slept well. Come, to the boats. At which point the rope ladders are let over once more. You all descend into these row boats. Between the two of them most of you can get onto it, a little awkwardly, but enough to at least make your way the few hundred feet to the shore. You eventually come upon the beautiful, white beaches of Uru Kaisel. You see the occasional shard of driftwood or a glimmer of a smooth abalone shell scattered amongst the sandy beach.

The jungle line begins about 40 feet before you and immediately grows dense and tangled with vines, root and various jungle, tropical trees that choke the sky above. Jemetty turns to the rest of you and goes, “Now you must be quiet, move quickly, as the island has many denizens that would find us exotic meats. So, are we ready?” – Oui. (audience laughing) Then come. He begins to lead the way in and Captain Avantica looks to us.

“And this will be fun, yeah?” – Should be. – And as you all slowly begin to duck in towards the tree line of the jungle, we’ll pick up there next week. (all yelling and clapping) That was fun. – Some Treasure Island shit. (audience continues applause) – Thank you guys. Thank you guys all so much for coming and being a part of this fantastic live show. Our first time doing a live show here in New York City. (applause) Thank you to all our fantastic critters at home that are watching this live or on VOD, we love you too! This is perpetually such an incredible experience that continues to build on itself and the fact that we get to do it together is so amazing. A huge thank you to D&D Beyond for being our wonderful sponsor this week.

Thank you to Momlan for being an amazing appearance. Thank you to my wonderful players for dealing with my crazy bullshit. And thank you all for just being you and making this so special for all of us. This is incredible. (audience applauding) – We love you guys! – And so, everyone have a wonderful night. We love you and is it Thursday yet? (yelling and applause) – Good night. Step around, step around. We’re doing this. Thank you, guys. (laughter) This is so fucking surreal! Oh is it still on? My mic’s still on, oops. Good night, guys. And we’ll see you at New York Comic Con! (applause) (dramatic music) .

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